I Owe You A Dance
by I'm A Marooner
Summary: Kate and Rick were highschool sweethearts, something went wrong, and they never spoke to each other again. Twenty years later, they run into each other unexpectedly. Though their lives have gone completely opposite directions, that old spark is still there, urging them both to do something incredibly stupid. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just a little oneshot I pulled out real quick. All mistakes are mine as usual. This fic was inspired by Tim McGraw's "Annie, I Owe You A Dance" Listen to that song, it brings tears to my eyes every time. **

"Johanna, no. Put it back," Kate ordered her daughter. Johanna, now eight years old, pouted but returned the candy to the shelf of the grocery store. "You've already picked up cookies, pop, and chips. No more junk food. Got it?"

Johanna nodded, "Yes, Mom."

"Kate?" Kate turned at the sound of her name. She recognized the voice immediately. She'd remember that voice any day. She stared at the man who called her name. Richard Rogers. Well now, he was Richard Castle, but still. She could feel herself blushing at the memory of him in high school. They had been best friends, but he screwed her over. She didn't want to remember, but she did. And it hurt. "It's been ages, Kate. You look fantastic."

Just looking at her, he felt the guilt, the remorse, the pain, all flood through his body. He'd been as ass. It was as simple as that. He'd stood her up at a school dance. His friends all told him how lost she had looked. Like she had been abandoned. It nearly killed him, but he didn't do anything about it. It didn't help that less than a year later her mother had been murdered and he had moved to California. He had been in California for nearly two years when one of his buddies called him to tell him Kate was getting married.

Castle's friend had kept him updated on Kate's life. Like when she decided to be a cop, when she was promoted to Homicide, when she got married, when she had a baby. Each major event in her life had been like a stab to the heart. But he knew it was all his fault.

He was acutely aware of the diamond glistening on her hand, and the little girl staring at him with wide eyes. "Rick, I've missed you. Seriously how long has it been?"

"Twenty years," he responded immediately. "Twenty long years… How've you been? I heard you got married."

Kate nodded, her eyes shifting to the ground. "Yeah. Will is great. How about you? Have you met anyone?"

"A few. I've actually been divorced twice. I have a daughter, too. Alexis is fourteen. God, I've been all over the world, seen so many different people, but I never stopped thinking about you."

Kate blushed again. They talked for what seemed like hours, just catching up on each other's lives. After a moment of silence, Kate asked, "Remember when we would talk until the wee hours of the morning? Just stupid things so we didn't have to hang up," she grinned for a second. But then the smile fell off her face, hurt replacing it.

"And I made a promise to take you to Homecoming…" Castle paused for a long minute. "Kate, I'm so sorry I didn't keep it. You know, I was in the city for a book tour, and I thought about stopping by. But you had just met Will, and I didn't think you'd appreciate seeing me. He sounds good for you."

"He is," Kate agreed, not meeting his eyes. "I really don't know what I'd do without him. He's been my rock through everything that has happened."

Castle nodded, the hurt evident in his eyes. "Do you ever think about you and me?" he asked suddenly. Kate's gaze snapped to his, shock covering her features. Did he just read her mind? He noticed her expression and changed the topic quickly. "Your daughter's beautiful. Her eyes are shine like yours did when you were young."

Kate smiled, "Thank you. She's my world now." As she said this, she wrapped her arm around his daughter, pulling her into her side.

There was a beat of awkward silence between the two. That was a rare occurrence between them. They had always been able to talk for hours on end without even taking a breath.

Castle took a few steps to Kate, reaching to take the groceries out of her hands and placed them in the basket. "Kate, I'm so sorry that I'm asking, like I should've done twenty years ago. I know there's nothing between us anymore, but I just need this. I need the closure. Listen," he said, "our song's on the radio. Kate, I owe you a dance."

Kate smiled a little, placing her hand in the hand he extended towards her. Johanna watched as her mother danced with a man she didn't know to a song she'd never heard. They looked good together, Johanna thought. She smiled and glanced at the cashier. The girl was only a few years older than Johanna, and she was watching the couple with the same gentle smile on her face.

Johanna didn't know this man, but he made her mom happy. So he had to be a good person. When the song ended, Kate walked back to her daughter, ushering her to move down the aisle. As Kate turned her back to Rick, he heard her daughter ask her, "Momma, who was that guy?"

Kate turned to glance at Rick with a sad smile gracing her features. The forgiveness in her eyes gave Rick hope. Hope that not all was lost between them. "He's my best friend, baby," he heard her answer Johanna quietly, risking another glance at him. "You'll get to see him again, someday. Don't worry."

Johanna nodded at her mother, looking over her shoulder to see that the man was still watching them walk away. "He makes you happy," she stated matter of factly.

"He really does, baby," Kate answered honestly. She didn't realize that Rick could still hear everything that was being said.

Castle's heart stopped when he heard Kate's response. _He made her happy._ Still, even after all these years and the horrible thing he had done to her.

"Hey Kate?" he yelled down the aisle. She turned slowly, her dark eyes searching for his. "Thanks for the dance."

**A/N: Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So due to many requests, I've decided to make this into a story instead of just a one-shot. Bear with me here. I really have no idea where it's going to go, so I'm pretty much going to make it up on the spot. Here goes nothing.**

The drive home was hell for Kate. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get Richard Castle off her mind. She had been in love with him. She knew that. She had accepted it a long time ago. But then she met Will. And he swept her off her feet. He made her forget about Rick. Made her see sense. Made her realize that there was never going to be anything between her and Rick. And that was okay. Will gave her life.

They had met over a kidnapping case. The case had lasted nearly six months, and during that time, Kate and Will bonded. He made her forget all about Richard Castle. They worked great together, in all honestly. But the death of the little boy brought them closer than ever. Will and Kate grieved over the loss of innocence. A few months later, Will had a ring on her finger.

So why did seeing Rick once change her like this? She loved Will. But she was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Rick. She couldn't help it. She wanted him. Just like she had wanted him in high school. Even after he broke her heart, not once, but twice.

Yes, he broke her heart twice, and she still needed him like air to breath. She couldn't do this. She really hoped that Rick had just been visiting the city and that he wasn't living here. There was no way she'd survive it if he stayed. They needed the few hundred thousand miles between them. Well, at least she did. He was a best-selling author. He could probably walk out onto the street and get half dozen girls right off the bat. Kate shook her head, laughing at herself.

He was never into her. She figured that out a long time ago, too. He used her. Her girlfriend from high school was beautiful. Madison always had all the guys at her beck and call. She had gotten used to being the ugly friend. It never bothered her because she always had Rick who made her feel important and beautiful. Well, he used to anyway.

Rick had asked Kate to go to a party with him; he didn't want to show up alone. So she went. In her mind, it was almost a date. And back then, she wanted it to be a date. Wanted to know what it felt like to kiss him, to run her hands through his hair. She never found out. Kate had gone to the bathroom, and when she returned, Rick was making out with Madison on the couch.

Without her permission, tears had sprung to Kate's eyes. Her heart felt like it was ripped out of her chest. Again. She left. She didn't tell anyone she was going. She just went. She walked home into the waiting arms of her mother. Her mother had held her while she cried; listening to the broken sobs that wracked through Kate's body.

It was at that point that Kate had decided she would get over Rick. It was hard, but she did it. It took nearly five years to truly get over him, but she made it happen. Or so she thought…

"Mom?" Johanna's voice brought Kate out of her daydreams.

"Yeah, baby?" Kate asked, hoping her voice sounded normal. From Johanna's concerned look, she could tell that it didn't.

"Do you love that man we saw today?" Johanna asked shyly, avoiding eye contact with her mother.

Kate was shocked. Was she really that obvious with her emotions? This'll be fun. "Why do you ask?" Kate responded warily.

Johanna shrugged her scrawny shoulders. "The way you looked at him reminded me of the way you look at Daddy. And you said you love Daddy. So I thought that you loved that guy, too." Johanna paused for a moment before continuing. "And he made you cry. Nobody makes you cry unless it's somebody you care about. You're tough, Momma. Only people you love can hurt you."

Kate inwardly sighed. She forgot how perceptive her eight-year-old could be. "I did love him, Joey. A long time ago. But we kind of drifted apart, and never really talked to each other again."

Johanna looked at Kate curiously. "Why?" she wondered aloud.

"Why, what?"

"If you loved him, why didn't you talk to him? That doesn't make sense. I love you and Daddy and Grampa Jim and Nanna and Pap. I talk to all of you. Why don't you talk to him?" Johanna looked utterly perplexed by the situation.

Well, no use fighting that thought process. "It was complicated, sweetie," Kate answered. "He moved away, and that was right when my mommy died. So I was sad and didn't want to talk to anybody."

Johanna nodded, seeming to except that answer. "What's his name?"

"Rick."

"Rick what?" Johanna asked.

"Rick Castle," Kate sighed. She knew her daughter would connect the dots. She was way to intelligent for Kate's own good.

"Don't you read books by him?" Kate cringed. Yep, she connected the dots.

"Yeah, baby, I do."

"Why?" Johanna asked, again.

Kate let out a deep breath. "I don't really know. I guess I wanted to still have some piece of him whenever I knew I'd never get to actually be with him."

"Cause he made you happy…" It wasn't really a question but Kate responded anyway.

"Exactly. I just wanted to be happy." Kate was quiet for a beat, and then said, "That was before I met Daddy, though. Once I met Daddy, I was happy again. And I stopped thinking about Rick. But I still liked his books cause they were like my job. You know?"

Johanna nodded. "I'm glad you met Daddy," she stated. Leaning her head back against the seat.

"And why's that?" Kate prompted her.

"Cause you're not sad anymore. I don't like it when you're sad. It makes me sad, too. And I don't like being sad." The way Johanna said this made Kate chuckle. She made it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Kate was an idiot for not already knowing.

"I'm glad I met him, too. If I hadn't, I would never have had you. And you're my favorite thing in the whole world."

Johanna grinned at her, showing off the few teeth that were still missing. "You're my favorite thing in the world, too. Even more than baby doll. And that means I love you lots, cause I _reeeaaalllyy_ love my doll."

Kate laughed at her daughter. She always made her smile, no matter how bad of a mood she was in. She loved their relationship, too. They were more like best friends than mother and daughter. "Well, thank you very much, Jo. I love you more, though."

"No way!" Johanna exclaimed. "I love you all the way to the moon and back!"

Kate smiled. Her mother had always told her the same thing, and Kate had said it to Johanna so many times, that now she was throwing it back at her.

**A/N: Thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

Castle had gone into the grocery store while Alexis had run to a nearby shop. Alexis was waiting outside the grocery store doors when Rick exited them.

"Hey, Dad," Alexis greeted him with a smile. They started towards their car, walking in total silence. Alexis immediately picked up on his mood, wondering what possibly could have caused him to be so down. "You okay, Daddy?" she asked him shyly.

Castle nodded. "I'm fine. Just ran into an old friend. Brought up some bad memories, you know?"

Alexis watched his face, searching for a sign. A sign of anything. Anger, depression, happiness, guilt. Something that would tell her that he was actually feeling anything. She couldn't find anything. "Who was it?"

Rick groaned. He knew she'd ask him, and he didn't really know what to tell her. "Her name's Kate. It was Kate Beckett, but I know she got married. I'm not entirely sure what her last name is now…" he trailed off, staring at the road.

"Is she someone I should know about?" Alexis asked knowingly. She could see right through her father's façade. He cared about her.

"Not really. I mean we were really good friends in high school. We never dated or anything, but we were always together… I was such an asshole in high school, honestly. I was more worried about being popular and getting the girl than actually caring what people thought of me," he confessed. "I knew Kate was interested in me, but back then? God, she was like my sister. And she wasn't the drop-dead gorgeous girl who had every guy falling all over her. So I ignored her. I was an ignorant jackass. I stood her up at Homecoming. I don't know why. I really don't. I guess I just thought it was the cool thing to do…"

Alexis thought about it for a minute before saying, "So what happened that has you in this mood?"

"Nothing! That's what's awful about it! I just saw her, and, God, she's stunning. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And I don't even know. Just looking at her brought back all these memories. And I didn't realize it then, but I think I might've been in love with her. And I screwed it all up." He was rambling. He knew that, but he needed to tell somebody, and, well, Alexis might just be the perfect choice.

"Well, did you tell her that?" Alexis asked him.

Castle snorted. "Yeah. 'Oh Kate, I haven't seen or talked to you in nearly twenty years, but yeah, I love you.' That would've gone over real well," he said sarcastically.

"It was just a question, no need to be defensive. Besides, it wouldn't surprise me if you did say something like that. You don't exactly have the best filter when it comes to women you're interested in."

Castle playfully glared at her. "You're supposed to be supporting me, here."

"You see, I would. Except you just told me that you were a dick to her in high school… what?" Alexis asked, seeing his shocked expression.

"Did you just use the word 'dick' to describe me?" Castle questioned her.

Alexis blushed, her eyes focusing on her feet. "Uhhm… Yeah?" she answered hesitantly.

"I'm so proud of you," Castle told her seriously. "You just called your own father a dick. That's the most offensive thing you've ever said. You're finally turning into a little rebel child."

Alexis laughed. "Hardly, Dad. There just wasn't a nicer word to use to describe how you acted."

Castle shrugged, "Whatever you say. I'm still immensely proud of you for it." They stopped at a red light, and Castle turned to look at his daughter. They got caught up in a playful, yet intense staring match when horns started to beep behind them.

"You better go, the light's green," Alexis commented, still refusing to break eye contact first.

"You really are an evil child," Castle said, starting into the intersection. He focused back on the road just in time to see a truck barreling through the red light, heading straight for them. "No!" he screamed, slamming on the breaks.

The car spun out into the middle of traffic. Castle grabbed Alexis, trying to hold her back to the seat. He heard the squealing of tires before two loud crashes resonated in his head. A truck and a taxi had slammed into them on either side. That was all he registered before blackness took over.

**A/N:** **I know this is short, I'm sorry for it. But I felt like this would be a good place to end it. Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

Castle shot up suddenly, panicking. "Where's Alexis?" he asked the first person he saw.

"Welcome back, Mr. Castle. I'm Dr. Igan. Your daughter is in the room down the hall. Do you remember what happened?"

Castle ignored his question, instead focusing on his daughter's whereabouts. "Is she okay?" he blurted.

"All in all, she was very lucky. The only major injury she sustained was a broken leg. It's been set and she's recovering. Besides that, she has a few minor scratches and bruises; nothing to be concerned about," the doctor assured him.

Castle let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. His baby was okay. Thank God. He nodded his thanks, letting his heart return to normal. The doctor then repeated his earlier question, "Do you remember what happened?"

Castle nodded, "Yeah, pretty much. We were stopped at a red light for a while. When it turned green, I went, but a truck had run a red light. I tried to stop, to evade the car, but I couldn't. The car spun out and the last thing I remember is being hit."

"Very good, Mr. Castle. We've checked you out, as well. As you probably already know, you had a deep laceration across your forehead. We stitched you up, and checked for concussion. You're in the clear. You could leave right now, but I assume you want to stay with your daughter for the night? She's asleep now, working off the medication. But she will be free to go tomorrow morning."

"Can I go see her now?"

"Of course. Right this way," Dr. Igan led him into the hallway and through a door not too far from his room. "Here we are."

Castle opened the door to reveal is teenage daughter lying in a hospital bed. She looked so small and fragile that Castle had to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. He moved to her bedside, taking her hand in his. He watched her sleep for hours. He just couldn't take his eyes off of her. He could've lost her today.

And it had been one hell of a day. First he ran into Kate, and all those controversy feelings had popped up. And then, just as he was getting over it, he nearly kills his own daughter in a car accident. Father of the year award, right here. He had closed his eyes for only a few seconds when a hand on his shoulder startled him.

Johanna had turned on the radio. And, as usual, a One Direction song was playing. _What Makes You Beautiful_, to be more exact. Johanna broke out in song as soon as the opening chords sounded throughout the car.

"You're insecure," she sang, pointing Kate in the arm. "Don't know what for. You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or," Johanna dramatically turned her head, making Kate smile in return. She had to join along in singing.

Kate took over the next line, "Don't need makeup to cover up. Being the way that you are is eno-o-ugh."

They sang the rest of the song together, trying to out-yell one another. It ended up with them just laughing at each other, but it was fun nonetheless.

Kate gasped, slamming on the brakes when she watched the accident happen in front of her. A truck ran a red light, slamming into a car going through the intersection. Her cop instincts broke in, and she hopped out of the car, running to the scene. Johanna sat in shock, watching her mom run to help.

Kate got to the car that had been hit by not one, but two cars quickly. She started in on trying to get the doors open. By then a number of people had abandoned their cars to help out. The drivers in the two cars that had hit the other one were both perfectly fine, getting out and walking on their own. The other car, though, wasn't so lucky. When she got the driver's side door open, she gasped in shock again. It was Rick. Blood was streaming down his face and he was unconscious. He checked his pulse to make sure he was still breathing before moving to the passenger side.

Kate thought that this must be his daughter, and she was beautiful. Even all banged up. EMTs had arrived on scene and were working on moving Rick and his daughter out of the vehicle. Kate couldn't help the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. A small hand at her waist broke her out of her reverie.

Johanna had wandered to the crash site to be with her mom. "Was that your friend?" Johanna asked quietly.

Kate ran a hand through her daughter's hair. "Yeah, baby, it is."

Johanna nodded, looking concerned. "He's gonna be okay, Momma. I know it."

Kate smiled, thank God for her daughter. "I know, sweetie."

Castle turned at the touch to see Kate and Johanna standing behind him. "Kate…" he said in wonder. "Why are you here?"

Kate smiled slightly, "We were only a few cars behind the accident. I wanted to make sure you were both okay."

Castle was shocked, "Thank you," he said earnestly.

"Always," Kate smiled.

Johanna spoke up then. "What did they do to your forehead?" she asked Castle.

"Jo-" Kate started.

"It's fine, Kate," he smiled at her, then turned to Johanna. "I had a big cut, and they had to sew it back up so it wouldn't bleed anymore."

Johanna nodded, "It looks like it hurts."

"It does a little bit," Castle confessed.

"What happened to her?" Johanna asked pointing at Alexis asleep in the bed.

"She broke her leg. But she has a pretty cool cast. You wanna see it?" he asked Johanna.

She nodded as Kate removed her hand from her shoulder. "I'm going to go call your father. Let him know where we are. Are you okay to stay with Rick for a minute?" Johanna nodded again. Kate shot Castle a look, saying don't hurt her. Even if Castle hadn't know her as well as he did, he would've gotten the message loud and clear.

He nodded his response, catching and holding her gaze. She sighed as she walked out the door to the hallway.

What was she going to tell Will? 'Hey, Honey. I met my first true love earlier today, and he was in a car accident. So me and Jo stopped to make sure he was okay.' Kate groaned. That wasn't going to fly.

Will answered on the first ring. "Hey, babe. Where are my two favorite girls?"

"At the hospital," Kate said, "But don't worry, neither one of us is hurt." She heard Will let out a deep breath at her words.

"You scared me there. Why are you guys there?" he asked her.

"I ran into an old friend at the grocery store earlier. And on our way home we watched an accident happen right before our eyes. I guess my cop instincts kicked in, and I ran to help out. It turns out it was my friend and his daughter. I wanted to make sure they were both okay, so we stopped on our way home. We'll be back in a few."

Will didn't miss that the friend was a man, but he trusted Kate. And he knew that she'd never involve their daughter in something she would try to hide from him. "I hope they're okay. Do you want me to make dinner so it'll be ready by the time you guys get home?"

"That'd be great," Kate answered, "We'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you, too. Tell Jo I love her," Will replied.

"Will do." Kate hung up, her head hitting the wall. Why did she even come anyway? It's not like it was going to change anything about him. She was an idiot. That's why. She really hated herself sometimes. And she had just left her daughter with a total stranger. Okay, so technically he wasn't a _total_ stranger, but still. God, she really had some issues.

**A/N: Thoughts?**


	5. Chapter 5

"Thanks for keeping an eye on her," Kate said. She and Johanna were headed out; they needed to get home to Will.

Castle shrugged, "It was nice to have some company. And thank you guys for stopping. I think I needed to talk to someone who was actually conscious," he joked half-heartedly. The pain of nearly losing his daughter was evident in his crystal blue eyes. Kate felt for him. She really did. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like to know that her daughter was almost killed and she couldn't have done anything to stop it. It hurt just to think about.

"Anytime," Kate told him. "It was nice seeing you again. We need to catch up more often," she said with a smile.

He nodded, accepting whole-heartedly. "Yeah, we really do."

"We need to get home," Kate said quietly, running her hand over Johanna's head.

"We'll see you guys later," Castle promised her.

Kate and Johanna walked through the hospital hallways silently. Johanna's hand was grasped tightly in Kate's. They stayed quiet until they were in the safety of their car.

"I like him," Johanna confessed, staring out the window.

"Who, Rick?" Kate asked, shocked by her daughter's confession.

"Yeah!" Johanna said exasperated. "He's fun."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. He told me all kinds of jokes. And he told me a story about Princess Johanna. It was really cool," she grinned.

Kate laughed. Well, at least his personality hadn't changed too much in the years they'd been apart. Still, she needed to change the subject now. Before that neb-nose she called her daughter got too much information out of her. "Yeah, he is pretty fun. Speaking of fun… Grampa Jim got us tickets to the Yankees game tomorrow night. Do you want to go?"

"Duuuuuhhhh," Johanna said, rolling her eyes. "Is that even a real question?"

"Hey! Well, you know, most girls don't like baseball as much as you do. I thought maybe you'd want to go shopping or something," Kate joked with her daughter.

"Are you serious, Mom? I hate shopping. You know that. Besides, I only like baseball cause you and Daddy watched it AAAALLLLLLLL the time when I was little."

"I know. We turned you into a monster, didn't we?"

Johanna smiled, "Yep, and now you guys will have to pay the price!"

They settled into silence, just listening to the radio. Every now and then, Kate would hear Johanna sing a line from a song before slipping back into silence. It made Kate happy to hear her daughter so content with the life she was living. But it gave her too much time to think.

Time to think about Rick, to be more specific. She had sworn to herself she'd never go back to him after what he did. And she didn't plan on being anything more than friends. Oh, HELL NO, she thought. There's absolutely no way I'll be with him. She sighed. What the hell was she thinking? She was married, for crying out loud. She shouldn't be thinking about getting together with another man.

God, when was this help going to find her? She snuck a glance at her daughter to make sure she hadn't noticed her inner turmoil. She apparently hadn't. But the look she saw on Johanna's face broke her heart. Johanna was biting her lower lip; a habit she had picked up from Kate herself, but Kate knew that meant she was upset.

"You're thinking awfully loud there, Jo."

Johanna's head snapped up, "What?" she asked startled. "Oh, I'm okay."

"Liar," Kate declared, keeping her eyes on the road in front of her. "What is it?"

Johanna let out a deep breath of air before she began. "I was just thinking… Do you think Daddy would be that sad if I broke my leg? He never tries to make me feel better when I'm sick, so what's the difference?"

Johanna might as well have ripped Kate's heart out of her chest. "Oh, sweetie. Your Daddy loves you, you know? He would do everything in his power to keep you safe. I know he'd be upset if you got hurt. That's what parents do."

"I know, but he's never home. All my friends get to see their mom and dad every single day. I don't even get to see Daddy three times a week. And sometimes I don't see you either. But I know that you'd leave work to come and get me. But Daddy never has. He's always at work."

"Jo, you know Daddy has a rough schedule. He doesn't get to be home a lot cause he's busy trying to catch bad guys."

"So are you. And you are home every night."

Kate sighed. She hated that her daughter felt like this. "I know, honey. But it's not the same. My boss understands that I need to put my daughter first. Daddy's boss doesn't see it that way. Daddy can't do anything about it. What brought all this on?"

Johanna looked away, out the window. "When I asked Rick if Alexis was really okay, he said that she was, but could've died. And that if she died, it would kill him, too. And he looked so sad. His eyes were all wet and his chest was moving really fast. I thought he was gonna cry, but he didn't. And that made me think of Daddy. Daddy doesn't cry when I get hurt. He never even asks me if I'm okay."

Kate sighed again. She was going to murder Rick for putting this doubt into her daughter's head. She knew it wasn't really his fault, but still. It seemed a lot easier to blame Rick for this whole issue rather than to blame Will. But he cried? He cried even though he knew his daughter was alive and well and in front of him? That had changed since high school. He had never cared enough about anybody to let them see him cry. His daughter must have really changed his life. Kate wished that Will had done the same.

Will was a good guy. He truly was. He just sometimes got so caught up in work that she wouldn't see him for days. Kate had gotten used to it a long time ago, but apparently Johanna had not.

"Look here, Jo. I know your Daddy. And he loves you more than anything in the world. I promise you that. And no matter what, I will always cry if you get hurt. You're my baby, and I love you with all my heart. Never forget that, you understand me?"

Johanna nodded, "I love you too, Momma."

**A/N: Thoughts?**


	6. Chapter 6

Weeks flew by. Kate was busy with work. Murderers just never seemed to take a break. Will had been caught up in so many cases that Kate hadn't seen him in days. No surprise there, but she still wanted him to be home just so she could see that he was safe. Johanna had been breezing through school. It was almost summer, and she couldn't wait. She wanted to swim. Swimming was her favorite. Especially with all her friends.

But she couldn't. She had to stay with her grandparents since her mom had been so caught up in her job. Johanna understood it. Her mom was making the world safer. Getting rid of all the bad guys. And she still saw her every night before she went to bed. Kate had made sure of that. She didn't want her daughter growing up without a mother.

Kate knew all too well what that was like. Granted, she had been an adult already, but it still hurt to not have your mom to talk to about everything that was going on. She'd never make Johanna feel that way.

The team had just closed a case. It was an easy one. A robbery gone wrong. The victims had walked in at the wrong time. The robbers started shooting. They only made it a few blocks away before they were caught. Kate was just finishing up the paperwork when her cell phone started buzzing uncontrollably.

She glanced at the screen, not recognizing the number. "Beckett," she answered. After getting married, she decided to take Will's name, but used her maiden name for work purposes.

A familiar voice answered in panic, "Kate, Will's been shot." It was Will's partner, Greg Volt. Kate froze. _Oh no,_ she thought. _Oh no, no, no, no. _

Kate managed to speak through a tight throat, "How bad?" She barely got the two words out in a whisper.

Volt was silent for a moment before responding, "Uhh. He's lost a ton of blood. He had gotten in a fight with a suspect so his head is pretty banged up. The shot itself—well he had a vest on, but it doesn't look like it did much of anything.

_Oh, God._ "Was he unconscious when he got hit?" Kate wondered. If he had been pretty banged up to start, he might not even remember that he got shot. Not that it would help anything. He'd still been shot in the chest. He might not even make it out to realize what happened. Kate closed her eyes, letting the grief take over her body.

"I don't know," Volt admitted. "He's just messed up. You need to get here. And soon."

Kate nodded, "I will. I just have to stop and get Jo first. What hospital?" She started gathering up her things, rushing to the elevator. After finding out the location, Kate hung up, redialing Johanna's school.

After quickly explaining the situation to the secretary, she said that she needed Johanna out of class immediately. Kate got to the school in record time, sprinting to the front door. The secretary, Mrs. Evans, had been kind enough to wait with Johanna at the door. That way Kate wouldn't have to come into the building. Kate signed the release form, hurrying Johanna back to the car.

"Momma what's wrong?" Johanna said, hazel eyes wide, panic in her voice. Her mom look scared. That was never a good sign.

"Daddy's hurt. We need to go to the hospital to see him."

"Is he gonna be okay?" Johanna asked in a small voice, tears threatening to fall.

"I don't know, baby," Kate admitted. She couldn't lie to her daughter. Tell her that her father was going to be perfectly fine. What if he wasn't? That could ruin the trust Johanna had put in her.

Johanna couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She let them stream down her face, breaking Kate's heart. She never wanted her daughter to go through this kind of pain again. "Hey, look at me," Kate ordered. Johanna looked up, eyes red and tears still flowing freely. "No matter what happens, I'm still here, okay? You'll always have me. I'm never going to leave you. I love you so much, Johanna."

"I l-l-l-love you t-t-t-t-too," she choked out between sobs. Her little shoulders were shaking so bad that Kate didn't even know how to start to comfort her. The drove the next few minutes in relative silence, each hoping for the best.

Entering the hospital doors, Kate spotted Volt leaning against the wall. "Greg!" she called. He looked up to see them approaching, standing straight. "How is he?"

"Still in surgery," he told them. He pulled Kate to the side. "I know you want to go see him as soon as he's done. But even if he survives," he said bluntly, "I don't think Jo should see him yet. You can barely recognize him."

Kate felt her heart drop. But she nodded, "Okay," she whispered.

"I've got to go. We still need to catch the son of a bitch who shot him. I'm not letting him get away. Call me when you hear anything?"

Kate nodded. Volt walked away.

Kate grabbed Johanna, directing her towards the corner of the waiting room. They curled up close together, not wanting to be left alone. Johanna rested her head on Kate's shoulder, the sobs still wracking her frame. Kate ran her hand through her daughter's hair, whispering that everything would be okay. Still, Kate couldn't control her own emotions. Tears were falling down her cheeks. She didn't know what she would do if he didn't survive. She didn't want Johanna growing up without a father either. Hours passed, and eventually Johanna fell asleep.

It was another few hours before a doctor walked in. "Will Sorenson?" he asked to the room. Kate immediately stood up, letting Johanna lay down against the uncomfortable cushions.

"How is he?" Kate asked again, still trying to keep her emotions at bay.

The doctor looked solemn. "We did all we could do…" Kate panicked again. _This cannot be happening. He can't die. He couldn't leave a child behind like that. He couldn't leave me behind like that. Oh, no. I can't do this. I can't…_ "He's alive, but he's lost a lot of blood. He's not breathing on his own. He took quite a beating, and to be frank, most of his face is unrecognizable. He should heal in time, but there will still be some deformities. I'm really sorry we couldn't do more."

Kate let out a deep breath. "So he's alive? And there's no further complications?"

"Well, his left lung was punctured, so we will need to keep a close eye on that." Kate nodded, thinking she could live with that.

"Can I see him?" Kate asked.

"Of course. I assume that is your daughter?" Kate nodded. "She can go back too, but like I said, she may not recognize him and I don't know if you want her to see him like that."

Kate nodded again. "Okay…" She didn't know what to do. She didn't necessarily wanted Johanna to see him like that, but she was going to need to see him eventually. Besides, Kate's father was out of town for the weekend, and Will's parents were out with Will's brother's kids. As she was thinking, she heard someone call her name.

"Kate, is everything okay?" he asked her gently. Alexis was hobbling next to him. Out of the bright pink cast she had originally had and into a walking boot.

Kate looked up to see his eyes full of worry. "It's Will. He's been shot and is apparently pretty messed up."

"I'm so sorry," Rick said, his eyes conveying his sincerity. "Is he okay?"

"He's alive, at least. That's all I really wanted…. I just don't want Johanna to see him like this…" she trailed off looking at the far wall.

Rick thought for a moment. Would it be overstepping boundaries if he offered to watch her for a few hours? He didn't think so, but Kate had always been kind of hesitant when it came to that sort of thing. _Hell, why not,_ he thought. "I can take her for a few if you want. Alexis and I were just going to go grab something to eat. Maybe stop to get ice cream. She's more than welcome to join us."

Kate stopped, startled by his offer. She hadn't even thought of that as a possibility. They weren't even friends now. Definitely not close enough to let him take her daughter for an unknown period of time. She didn't really have any other options though. And he had his daughter with him. And from what little she's seen and heard, he's an excellent father. It wouldn't kill her to let Johanna go with him, right? And Jo liked him. So she wouldn't be uncomfortable. Besides she had perfected the skill of wrapping grown men around her little finger since she was born.

"I mean, I don't want make you uncomfortable, Kate. But I think you need to see your husband. And I know I wouldn't want Alexis seeing me like that. So I get it. I just thought that maybe we'd be able to get her mind off of everything for a little while," he was rambling. Again. He seemed to do that a lot around her recently.

"That'd be great actually," she said quietly. "Take good care of her."

Rick nodded, "Of course." He touched her shoulder gently, just letting her know he was there if she needed him. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "How about you give me your number? So if anything happens I can get in touch with you." Kate nodded, taking his offered phone out of his hand. She programmed her number in, handing the phone back to him.

"I'll just go wake her up." Kate walked to where she had left Johanna on the hard seats. She shook her shoulder gently, rousing her from her deep sleep. "Hey, baby."

"Is Daddy okay?" she asked groggily.

"He's okay. But he's really hurt. And he doesn't look like himself. Rick's going to take you and Alexis to eat while I try to figure out what's going on, okay? Is that okay with you?"

Johanna studied her mother for a moment. She wanted to see Daddy. But she knew her mom wasn't going to let her. She nodded her head slowly. "Okay," she whispered.

_That was easier than I thought it would be,_ Kate thought. She had honestly expected Johanna to put up a fight. She was too much like her from that standpoint. "Okay," she said, kissing her cheek. "Have fun, and be good, got it?" She gave her daughter a playfully stern look.

"I know," Johanna said, exasperated. She got up, crossing the room to where Rick and Alexis were standing. "Hi guys," she said shyly.

"Hey there Jo," Rick said cheerfully, squatting down to be on her eye-level. "You okay, princess?" he asked, his concern written all over his face.

"Yeah, I'll be okay," she told him. "How's your leg, Lexi?"

"Better," Alexis responded with a smile. "I can at least walk on it now. Better than having to use crutches, right?"

Johanna giggled. "Yeah. I don't think crutches would be very fun."

"They really aren't," Alexis admitted. "But at least I should be able to do whatever I want by summer time. Maybe me and you could hang out some time?" Alexis offered. She didn't really know Johanna, but she felt really, really bad for her. She just wanted to make her feel better. And she seemed nice.

"That'd be so cool!" Johanna exclaimed. Her normal personality was showing again, and Kate couldn't be happier about it. It was amazing what Rick and his family could do to Kate and hers. She mouthed her thanks to Rick, who nodded with a grin.

"Alright, girls. Let's head out. Where do we want to eat?" He grabbed a hand of both of the girls, leading them to the door. Kate watched them go, thinking he really was a great father. She still was nervous. After all, she didn't know him all too well anymore. This could be a mistake.

She watched the door for a solid five minutes after they had exited. She couldn't shake the anxiety she was feeling. Her phone vibrated in her back pocket. She pulled it out to check the message. A number she didn't recognize popped up. She opened the text.

_Relax, KB. She's in good hands. I promise. She and Alexis are already fast friends. You're in my prayers. Call me at this number if you need anything._

_ -RC_

KB… He used to call her that all the time in high school. It was one of her favorite nicknames. Probably because he was the only one who called her that, but still… Sending him back a quick thanks, she took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever she was about to find as far as her husband was concerned.

**A/N: Thoughts? I don't know if Will had a partner or what his name was, but for the sake of the story it's Greg Volt.**


	7. Chapter 7

Rick, Alexis, and Johanna walked into a small, cozy diner not too far from the hospital they had just left. Alexis had immediately understood the situation Johanna was in, and hadn't stopped talking since they left. She rambled on and on, slowly prying responses from Johanna. Soon enough, Johanna had all but forgotten the mess her father was in and was having a ball with Alexis. They really got along well.

Rick sat on one side of the table while the girls sat on the other, caught up in the secrets they were sharing. He grinned. He obviously thought his daughter was the most precious, most adorable human being to ever walk the Earth, but Kate's kid came in a close second. Johanna reminded him so much of Kate, it was scary. Her eyes truly sparkled when she laughed. It was entrancing. She had the cutest giggle, too. A very girly squeal brought him out of his trance.

He looked at the girls questioningly, "Care to tell the old man what that was about?"

Alexis and Johanna looked at each other for a split second before turning to him with identical smiles plastered on their faces. "Well," Alexis started, "I was telling Jo about how much I've always wanted a little sister…"

Johanna picked up where Alexis let off, "And I was telling Lex that I've always wanted a big sister to play with…"

With another quick glance at each other, they finished the thought in unison, "So we thought we could be each other's sisters!"

Rick sat motionless for a moment. It was honestly freaky how in sync they had been. After getting after the initial shock of the connection these two seemed to share, he smiled. "Oh yeah? That'll be fun." Really fun, he thought to himself. If Alexis and Johanna were always together, that meant he'd see Kate more and more. He wasn't complaining. He knew she was happily married, but he still had a thing for her. He couldn't help it. Especially when she looks like she does. Gorgeous.

Alexis broke him out of his daydreaming. "Dad, do you think it would be okay if Jo came with us to the beach sometime?"

"I'd love to have her, but I think we need to check with her mom first. I don't want to kidnap her baby," he grinned at Johanna.

"It's not kidnapping if I want to go!" Johanna exclaimed. "Besides your more fun than Daddy. He's never home to play with me anymore. I don't think he loves me like you love Lexi." Her little face looked so crest-fallen it broke Rick's heart.

Alexis looked at her father in panic. She didn't know what to do, what to say. Rick took over for her. "I'm sure your daddy loves you very much. How could he not? You're such a beautiful, loving, funny little girl. I bet you're the center of his whole world." Johanna shrugged, still looking sad. "Hey, come over here," he told her.

Johanna looked at him curiously. After silently weighing her options, she got up, moving to his side of the table. Rick took her in his arms, whispering to her how much her mommy and daddy loved her. "Never doubt that okay? I know your mom. She has the biggest heart in the world, and I know she loves you with every little bit of it. And she would never be happy if your daddy didn't feel the same way. I promise you that they both love you to no end."

Johanna nodded, her head resting between his neck and shoulder. "Thanks Rick," she whispered against his throat, her arms tightening around his neck. They sat like that for a few minutes, Rick trying to give all his strength to this little girl.

"Alright, Princess. What do you want to eat?" he asked her. Alexis shot him a grin from across the table. He blew her a kiss which she aptly caught in her left hand. His daughter really was something else.

(…)

Kate opened the door to Will's hospital room slowly. She didn't know if she wanted to see what awaited her. Turned out, she didn't. His face was a mess. Deep gashes running across it, dark bruises coloring the skin. It made her sick. He definitely didn't look like her husband. His eyes opened slowly as she got closer to his bedside.

"Hey," she said quietly, "How're you feeling?"

"What happened?" he asked.

"You got caught in a fight with a suspect—"

"A suspect? A suspect in what?" he asked.

"You're an FBI agent… You don't remember that?" Kate questioned him.

"No. God, this hurts. Can you give me my meds?"

"I'll call a nurse."

"Wait," he said, "you're not the nurse?"

Kate froze. He didn't know who she was? This can't be happening. "Uhm, no. I… I'm your wife." She held up her left hand, showing him the rings he had given her.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I don't remember you. What's your name?"

"Kate," she responded, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. "We have a daughter. Her name's Johanna, she's eight."

"God, Kate. I'm really sorry. I can't even remember my own child." He sounded devastated. And hurt. Just knowing he didn't remember his family was visibly killing him.

"It's not your fault," she soothed him, running a hand through his hair.

"Do you have a picture of her?" he asked.

Kate nodded, taking her phone out of her back pocket. She scrolled through the pictures of Johanna, searching for the one she had taken of her and Will. They were looking at each other, laughing. She loved the picture. She turned her phone so he could see it. Will studied the picture for a long time, a faint smile gracing his lips. "She's beautiful," he murmured quietly.

Kate nodded again. "Where is she?" he asked her.

"Your partner told me you were pretty messed up. Said that Johanna might not be able to take seeing you like you are. So she's with a friend for the night. I think it's for the better. I think if I am the one to explain that you don't remember she'll take it a little better." Johanna would be so upset. She loved Will to pieces. Knowing her dad didn't remember her would kill her.

Will nodded. "Can I see her sometime soon, though? I want her to know that I'm okay, and that I still love her even if I don't remember her."

Kate felt tears prick her eyes. She was truly touched. "You're a good man, Will."

"I just don't want her to think that I don't care. I mean, I don't know who she is, but she's my daughter. I have to love her, right?"

Kate nodded. "You really do love her. She has you so wrapped around her fingers, it's crazy. But she tends to do that with a lot of men." Kate laughed, thinking of how taken Ryan and Esposito are with her baby.

He nodded again. "I hate to kick you out, but I need some meds. I don't know how long I can take this pain."

"Of course. I'll get a nurse," Kate said.

A few minutes later, a nurse entered. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Visiting hours are over for today."

Kate nodded, "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow." She leaned down to press a feather of a kiss on Will's forehead.

"See you," he mumbled.

Kate walked to the hospital entrance quickly, trying to hold back the tears until she was completely alone. Once outside, she fell apart. Sobs wracked her body. She couldn't get control of herself. Her husband didn't remember her. He didn't remember their daughter. He had no idea he was an FBI agent. What if his memory never returned? What if he was forever lost in this daze? Kate shook her head. Now was not the time to obsess over this. She pulled out her phone, checking the time. It was 11 already. Damn, where'd all the time go? She had four new text messages. One was from Volt, asking how everything was. The other three were from Rick. She responded to Volt, saying that she'd talk to him in the morning once she knew more information herself. Then she read Rick's messages.

_Hope everything's okay. Let me know. Your daughter is you, I swear. _

_ -RC_

_ It's getting late. You almost finished? I can take Jo to my place for a while if you need._

_ -RC_

_ We're heading back to the loft. Call me when you get this._

_ -RC_

Kate sighed. She should've paid more attention to the time. Dialing Rick's number, she held the phone to her ear, trying to calm her breathing.

"Castle," he answered.

"Rick, hi, it's Kate."

"Oh! Hey, how'd everything go?"

Kate paused, not wanting to let herself fall apart again. "Not too well," she admitted, her voice breaking without her permission.

"Are you okay?" he asked, worried.

"Uh, yeah. I'll be fine."

"Kate," he said patronizingly, "That lie has never worked on me and you know it. What's wrong?"

"Can we talk about it later?"

"Sure," he agreed unwillingly. He knew she'd find a way to weasel her way out of having this conversation. "Do you want me to meet you somewhere to pick up Jo?"

"No, no. I can come get her. I don't want you to have to go out."

"Kate, it's really no problem."

"I can come get her. Where do you live?"

Rick sighed. He gave her his address, still arguing with her about picking Johanna up.

"Shut up, Rick," she joked. "You know you'll never win against me."

"Ain't that the truth," he mumbled.

"Watch it," she warned, "I'll be there in a few."

She drove through the busy New York streets with the radio blasting. She needed to get her mind off of Will, even if that meant listening to One Direction to make her think of Johanna. Johanna had been bugging her since Christmas for tickets to their show. But Kate couldn't afford them. That damn British boy band had tickets going for over a thousand bucks. It was ridiculous. They weren't even good. But they were good at getting her mind off of things. Instead, she was mentally planning Johanna's birthday party. Her birthday was a few weeks away. June 13 to be exact. Maybe some One Direction posters would be good enough. Probably not, but that's all she could afford. Johanna was never one to conform to what other girls were interested in, but this stupid band had to be the one thing she did conform to. Annoying. That was what it was. She had to admit, though. Their music was catchy.

Her drive went quick. Before she knew it, she was parked outside of Richard Castle's house. What the hell? She didn't even want to see what it looked like inside. Walking to the door, she smiled at the doorman as he greeted her. Taking the elevator to Rick's floor, she couldn't help but pace back and forth. She knocked on his door, still nervous. Why was she nervous? This wasn't a date. Her husband was in the fricking hospital, trying to regain his memory. She shouldn't be interested in him. But she was. She had never stopped.

The door flung open to reveal Rick standing before her in sweatpants and a form fitting t shirt. He looked _really _good in casual clothes. "Hey," she smiled, stepping in the door as he ushered her inside.

"Lex and Jo crashed about an hour ago. They're in Lex's room." Rick turned looking at Kate for the first time. "You sure you okay?" he asked, noticing the red eyes and tear tracks staining her face.

Kate started to nod before thinking better of it. She couldn't lie to him, never could either. "No," she admitted, looking at her feet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

Kate looked up to meet his eyes. All she found there was concern. She nodded. Rick led her to the couch, settling down beside her. Kate took a deep breath before starting.

"You know what happened, right?"

"Basically. Suspect chase gone wrong?" he clarified.

"Yeah. He got pretty banged up. He doesn't even look like himself." A tear slipped down her cheek. Rick reached out to brush it away. Realizing what he did, he removed his hand as quickly as he placed it there. "Anyway, he doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember me. Doesn't remember Jo. Doesn't remember his job." Tears were flowing freely now. "I don't know what to do. What should I tell Jo? That her father doesn't even remember her? That'll crush her."

Rick remembered Johanna's comment at the diner; about how her dad didn't love her. He decided it was best not to inform Kate of that little detail. "Kate," he said, resting his hand on her arm. "Everything will be okay. Like you've said, he's a good guy. Even if he doesn't remember, he'll make an effort to love you both."

"But what if he doesn't, Rick?" she asked, her voice breaking. "What if he can't love us anymore? I can't let Johanna live like that. She needs a father. I just don't know what to do." Her face fell into her hands as uncontrollable sobs took over her body.

Without thinking, Rick pulled her into his arms, letting her cry. She sobbed into his chest, her grief working its way out of her. It was a half hour before the sobs subsided. She lifted her head from where it rested on his chest, meeting his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought this all on you."

"It's okay, Kate. I promise. I want to help you as much as I can. I know anything between us is over, but I know what it's like to feel like your failing your child as a single parent. I don't want that for you or Johanna. I can help if you let me in."

"Rick, you don't—"

"Forget it," he ordered. "I'm going to help. Even if it's just keeping an eye on Johanna while you work things out."

"Thank you, Rick."

"Always," he responded with a smile.

"I should get going."

"You can stay. Like I said, Jo's already out. And it's late and you're in no condition to drive. You can stay in the guest room."

"No, I couldn't impose on your family."

"You're not. Alexis will be thrilled that Johanna's still here. And I don't want you driving like this."

"You really don't have to do this," she whispered to him.

"I want to. I'll get you some clothes to sleep in." He got up, wandering into his bedroom. He fished out an old pair of sweats and a hoodie.

"Here," he said, handing the clothes to her. "These will be big, but it's better than what you've got on." She nodded. "I'll show you to the guest room."

Kate followed Rick up the stairs to a small room on the left. "Here we go," he announced. "If you need anything, _anything_ at all, come get me. I'll be in my room." She nodded her thanks. "Alexis' room is across the hall… Jo's with her on the floor. You won't wake Lex if you go in so don't worry about it. Good night, Kate."

"Night," she whispered to him as he closed the door. She changed into the borrowed clothes swiftly, folding her own in a neat pile. There was something incredibly wrong with wearing another man's clothes in another man's house when her husband was stuck in the hospital alone. She felt guilty, but she knew she shouldn't be driving home tonight. And she really didn't want to face Johanna's questions either. Kate crawled into the huge bed, wrapping herself around one of the extra pillows. She took a deep breath, inhaling Rick's scent. It was intoxicating. Why did everything in her life need to be so complicated?

**A/N: Thoughts? **


	8. Chapter 8

Johanna woke up the next morning disoriented. _Where am I?_ she thought to herself, taking in her surroundings. Pink. A lot of pink. Gross. But then she remembered; Alexis. That's where she was. On Alexis' floor. She got up and stretched, wandering towards the bedroom door. Alexis was still sleeping and Jo didn't want to wake her. Closing the door quietly behind her, she snuck into the hallway. She heard something down stairs. The coffee pot maybe? Her mom was obsessed with coffee. Drank it every single day. Johanna was pretty sure that was the sound.

She climbed down the stairs, holding the railing tightly to keep from toppling over. "Mom?" she called quietly, not wanting to wake the entire house.

Rick was in the kitchen when he heard the little voice. He hurried around the counter to the steps, glancing up at a rather disheveled eight year old. "Morning, Jo. Your mom's still sleeping… You hungry? I made pancakes!" he said with enthusiasm, making the child grin.

"I love pancakes!" she exclaimed, bounding down the few remaining stairs.

"Good to know," Rick responded. Score one for the boys back home! He lifted Johanna onto one of the stools at the counter, moving to get her breakfast. "Here you are, mi lady," Rick said with a flourish. "What would you like to drink?" he asked in an intentionally horrific British accent.

Johanna giggled. "Can I have some milk, please?" Rick nodded, headed towards the fridge. "And by the way, that was not a good British accent!"

Rick spun around, acting hurt by her comment. "What? I thought it was great! I want to see you do better!" The look he shot Johanna was playfully challenging. And Johanna accepted that challenge with a shrug.

"Fine, bloke. May I have some tea, instead? Oh, thank you sir, you're too kind," she rattled off perfectly. Her accents fell into place without an effort. "Take that, Rick!" she smiled at him.

"Huh, guess yours was better," he admitted, looking defeated. "Now, tell me, little one. Where did you learn to perfect a British accent at such a young age?"

"One Direction is from England! Duh!" Johanna stated this matter-of-factly. Like how could he not know that?

"Oh, right. I've heard of them. 'Cause you've got that one thing," he sang badly, eliciting another giggle from Johanna. "Lex likes them too."

"Really?! That's awesome! I just want to go to their concert, but Momma says we don't have enough money to go." She pouted.

"The tickets do cost some money," he mumbled, thinking about the thousands he had forked out for four backstage passes and tickets for Alexis for her birthday.

"Yeah. But I just want to meet them. They seem really fun."

"Tell you what, Jo," he said, sitting down next to her. He tossed his arm around her and brought his mouth close to her ear. "It's gotta stay between us though, okay?" he whispered. She nodded. "I'll try my hardest to find some tickets for you. How's that sound?"

"Really?!" she nearly screamed. "Oh, Rick! Thank you, so, so, so, so much!" She threw her little arms around his neck, holding him as tight as she could. Kate stood at the top of the stairs just watching their interaction. It was sweet. He was sweet. But she knew that already.

Kate crept down the stairs, trying to stay quiet. "Morning, baby," she said to Johanna.

"Morning, sweetheart," Rick replied cheekily, grinning at her. At her eye roll, he commented, "Oh, you were talking to your daughter. Sorry, my mistake." He returned to the stove with a mischievous glint in his eye. And Kate didn't miss it. But she just shook her head, letting it go.

She leaned down to kiss Johanna's forehead. "How're you this morning?" she asked, running her hand through Johanna's knotted hair.

"Good. Rick made pancakes! They're really good!" she told her, stuffing another piece into her mouth.

"Oh yeah?" Johanna nodded as Rick slid another plate towards Kate. That look was still in his eyes. He was up to no good. It was obvious.

Johanna finished eating, still rambling on about what she and Alexis did last night. "Hey, Jo?" Rick asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can you do me a huge favor and go wake Lex up for me?"

"Sure!" Johanna stumbled off the stool, slipping on the hard wood floor as she made it up the stairs. As soon as she was out of sight, Kate let her head fall into her hands.

She felt his hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles into. "You okay?" he asked, his voice deep and husky behind her. She sighed, but nodded.

"Just hard, you know?" she mumbled, still not looking up.

He nodded, even though she couldn't see him. "I can only imagine."

She took a shaky breath, trying to regain control of herself. But then she felt something on her head. His lips pressed softly against her hair. "It'll be okay," he whispered into her hair.

She looked up at him, searching for his eyes. "Thank you, Rick. For being here," she whispered.

He smiled softly at her, his eyes locked on hers. "Always, Kate," he promised, keeping his gaze steady. They stayed their locked in a deep, meaningful look for what seemed like hours. Kate couldn't tear his eyes away from his. His gaze was unsettling, awakening a longing inside her. A longing that just wanted to free itself. She leaned towards him slowly, closing her eyes.

"Momma!" she heard Johanna yell from upstairs. Kate pulled away from him, keeping her eyes trained on the floor. She looked disappointed. At least Rick thought she did.

"Yeah baby?" Her voice was surprisingly steady. Nice! she thought.

"Are we gonna go see Daddy today?" Kate looked at Rick for an answer.

"I think she needs to see him, but I'm more than willing to keep her for the day if you need me to."

Kate nodded to him, her cheeks still slightly flushed from their almost kiss. "Yeah, Jo. We're going to see Daddy," she called back to her daughter.

"It's for the better, you know," he muttered quietly.

"What?" Kate asked, confused.

"That she interrupted us. You wouldn't have been happy with yourself," he stated, avoiding eye contact.

Kate nodded. "You're right. I—I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even thought…"

"Hey, it's okay. What you're going through is tough. You want somebody to comfort you in the ways you want to be. I get it, but I don't want to be that person. You'll regret it, and I don't want to lose whatever this is that we have."

"Me neither," she admitted. They sat in silence for a few minutes, both of them contemplating what lies ahead. "You're good with her."

"Johanna? She's a sweetheart; it's hard not to get along with her." He shrugged. Kate shook her head.

"You're better with her than Will has been lately. And I think she's starting to see that, and it kills me, Rick. It kills me to see that my baby thinks her own father doesn't want to spend time with her. And it's not that. Will's a great guy and loves Jo, but he loves his job more. His job will always come before her, come before me. And that's not the way it should be. What if something would happen to me? I mean, I'm a cop. The chances are good that I'll get hurt, or worse, killed. What if Will still keeps the hours he's working now? Johanna will be left to her own devices, and I can't have that."

Rick's heart had stopped when she said 'killed.' "Kate, I promise you that no matter what happens, I'll take good care of Johanna. She and Alexis are so close already that it'll be heard to separate them soon. I promise that I'll make her smile again."

Kate smiled through the tears that streamed down her face, "You're a good guy, Rick."

**A/N: Thoughts? **


	9. Chapter 9

Kate held Johanna's hand as they walked through the hospital doors. This was honestly making Kate sick. She hated hospitals. And now that her husband was due to be in here for a while, it made her hate them even more. They made her feel weak, made her want to cry. Johanna's small hand wrapped securely in hers was the only thing that kept her here, kept her from breaking down, kept her from burrowing down the rabbit hole.

They stopped outside of Will's door. Kate took a deep breath before squatting to look Johanna in the eye. "Daddy was hurt really bad, you know that right?" At Johanna's slight nod, Kate continued. "He doesn't really look like him. He has a bunch of cuts and bruises all over his face. It doesn't look good." Kate paused for minute, trying to gain the strength to tell her daughter the bad news. "He hit his head pretty hard, too. He… He doesn't really remember anything."

Johanna looked at her questioningly. "You mean he doesn't know what happened to him?"

Kate shook her head, willing herself not to cry. "No, baby. I mean he doesn't remember who I am, doesn't remember who you are, barely remembers who he is." A few tears slipped down her cheeks as Kate watched Johanna absorb the information.

Johanna looked down at her feet. "Daddy doesn't know who I am?" she whispered, her voice breaking every word.

Kate placed a hand under her chin, making Johanna look at her. Tears were cascading down her face. The sight of her daughter in so much pain nearly broke her heart. "I'm sorry, baby," she said quietly, her own tears obvious in her voice. "He loves you so much. That'll never change, okay?" Johanna nodded, sniffling. "Come here," Kate whispered, wrapping her arms around her daughter. "Everything will be okay."

"What if he never remembers, Mom?"

"Then we'll try to help him remember. And no matter what, don't you forget that you are my whole world. No matter how hard life gets, you're still the most important thing to me, you hear?"

Johanna nodded again, "I love you, Mom."

"Love you too, sweetie. Now," she said, standing back up. "You ready to go see Daddy?"

Johanna took a deep breath, calming herself. A few tears were still making their ways down her rosy cheeks. Kate opened the door, leading Johanna in. Will was lying down, his eyes screwed shut. They made their way to the side of his bed, and Johanna gasped, cowering into Kate's side. Kate ran her hand across the back of Johanna's head. She leaned down to gently kiss Will's forehead. Once her lips touched his skin, he opened his eyes.

"Hey," he murmured to Kate. He looked pointedly at Johanna, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly. Kate nodded. "Hi, Johanna," he said.

Still hiding behind Kate, Johanna spoke up in a whisper, "Hi, Daddy. Are you feeling any better?"

"A little bit. It's better now that you're here," he told her sincerely. "Come sit with me?"

Johanna looked up at Kate. When Kate nodded, Jo moved to sit carefully by her father. "I don't want to hurt you," she whispered, looking into his eyes.

"You won't, I promise," he declared. After a minute of studying Johanna, Will spoke again, "When's the last time I told you how beautiful you are?"

Johanna smiled, "Like last week. You tell me all the time," she giggled.

"Good. It's true, you know. You look just like your mother."

Johanna smiled, bigger this time. "And Mommy's so pretty."

Will grinned, "She really is." He looked up at Kate, winking at her. Kate smiled. At least he was still his charming self. "So… What have you been up to the past few days?"

"Nothing really," Johanna answered. She thought for a minute, then said, "Actually, yesterday I hung out with Alexis and her dad. You'd like them, Daddy."

_Daddy_. Will felt an unusual feeling rush through his body at the name. It didn't make sense. He knew she was his daughter, so why did this feel like the first time he had ever been called Daddy?

"Well, if they make my pretty little girl happy, then I have to like them, right?"

"Right!" Johanna exclaimed before launching into a story about their day. Kate smiled at Will. He was so focused on Jo's story though, that he didn't even see her loving smile. Kate felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket. She reached for it, unlocking the screen as she did so. A message from Rick popped up on her screen.

_Hope everything's going well. You guys are all in our prayers._

_-RC_

Kate smiled. He really was a great guy and a great father if she thought about it. She knew it wasn't fair to compare Will's interaction with their daughter now to Rick's this morning, but she did it anyway. Rick was a natural with kids, and he genuinely seemed to like Johanna. Will, on the other hand, was looking like he was forced to spend time with his daughter. Granted, he barely knew who she was at the moment, but he hadn't changed all too much. He never really seemed to enjoy the little amount of time that he spent with Johanna. He always found time for his family, and it was always a good time, but he never was having fun. He'd always wanted a boy. Maybe that was the reason, and Kate was just figuring it out now.

It didn't matter, she thought. He was alive and he was trying. Trying to actually remember his own daughter. Trying to act like everything was normal. He was doing everything in his power to be Johanna's father, but it just wasn't cutting it. Kate could see the indecision on Johanna's face. She was proud of her though. Despite knowing that Will had no idea who she was, Johanna stayed strong, talking to him like he had only broken an arm. She really was amazed by her daughter sometimes. She was only eight; she should be bawling her eyes over this. But she wasn't. She was talking and laughing and joking with her bed-ridden father. Kate checked her phone, noting how late it was. It was already four, and neither of them had eaten since breakfast.

"Hey, Jo?" she called quietly, not really wanting to interrupt their conversation about her favorite TV shows. Johanna looked over at her. "It's getting late, and you haven't eaten lunch. You about ready to head home?"

Johanna looked back at Will before nodding. She leaned down to kiss her father's cheek, ignoring the cuts and bruises that patterned his skin. "Love you, Daddy."

"Love you too, munchkin."

Johanna hopped off the bed to her mother's side.

"Can you wait in the hallway for a minute? I need to talk to Daddy alone for a little." Johanna nodded, shutting the door behind her.

"How're you holding up? The truth this time," Kate demanded.

Will sighed. "Everything hurts. I was hoping that seeing Jo would trigger something, but it didn't. I still don't remember anything. And it's killing me, Kate. She has all these memories of us together, and I can't recall a single one of them. Do you realize how hard that is?"

Kate nodded, "You were good with her, though. Really good."

"Thanks. I really do love her, Kate. I know I don't remember everything, but she's something else," he said, quieting for a moment.

Kate laughed, "Yeah, she has the tendency to wrap tough, strong men around her little fingers in five minutes tops."

Will chuckled, causing a slight grimace. He fell silent for a few minutes. "Promise me that you'll have help. I don't want you to be alone through this. Find someone. I don't care who it is. I just need to know that you're safe and someone's there for Jo if something happens to you too."

Kate stared at him for a long minute before nodding. "Promise."

"Good. Now go get food in our daughter," he ordered.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kate said, leaning down to press a light kiss to his mouth. An image flashed before her eyes, and suddenly she was wishing that the lips she was kissing belonged to a different man. Maybe a best-selling author? She was so screwed. "Love you," she muttered.

"See you."

Kate left with a final look back at the bed. She wanted to quell these feelings she was getting from Rick, but she couldn't he was seeping into her. She wanted to feel his strong arms around her again. She wanted to breathe in his manly scent. She wanted to break down in front of him with Alexis and Johanna playing in the next room. But she was married to the man stuck in the hospital bed. A man who had done nothing wrong besides going to work and getting himself hurt.

She had to admit to herself that she had never actually gotten over Rick. He was always in the back of her mind. But when Will had come along, he pushed Rick out of the way for a while. It was a long while, too. That only stopped a few months ago when she and Rick had bumped into each other at the store. And there it went. He was back under the spotlight in her head, and she couldn't get rid of him.

"Do you think Daddy will ever remember?" Johanna asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"I hope so, but I don't know," she admitted. Honesty was probably the best way to go on this.

"I hope so, too."

Kate nodded. "So, what are you up for for dinner?"

(…)

"Hey Dad?" he heard Alexis call from her room. He was sitting in his office, trying to write some of the latest Derek Storm book, but he couldn't. His mind kept going back to Kate.

"Yeah, Pumpkin?" he answered distractedly.

"You gonna answer your phone anytime soon?" she asked, now standing in the doorway holding the ringing object.

"Sorry. Didn't even hear it. Who's calling?"

"Says it's Kate," Alexis answered, tossing him his cell.

Rick answered the phone, wondering what she needed.

"Hello?" he answered cheerfully.

"Rick? Is this you?" he heard a little voice answer.

"Yeah, Jo. Everything okay?" he asked worriedly. Johanna shouldn't be calling him from Kate's phone unless something happened.

"I don't know," she told him honestly. She sounded scared, but Rick had no idea why.

"Jo, tell me what's going on so I can help."

After a moment of silence, Johanna spoke up. "We came back from seeing Daddy, and I fell asleep on the couch. I just woke up a couple minutes ago and I went to look for Mom. And she was laying on the kitchen floor asleep. And I tried to wake her but she won't wake up. And I don't know what to do so I called you cause I thought you could help me and I just want her to be okay cause I can't have her and Daddy both hurt and—"

"Hey, deep breath for me Jo," he told her, successfully interrupting her rambling. "Can you tell me if there's anything around her?" he asked.

"Uhm, yeah. There's a bottle. I don't know what was in it, but it's a glass one. It's broken, but I think it was empty before it broke." Rick felt himself freeze. She wouldn't have done that, would she?

**A/N: Thoughts? **


	10. Chapter 10

"_Uhm, yeah. There's a bottle. I don't know what was in it, but it's a glass one. It's broken, but I think it was empty before it broke." Rick felt himself freeze. She wouldn't have done that, would she?_

"Jo, you need to listen to me okay?" Castle ordered, waiting for her to reply. When she did, he continued on. "Put your fingers on the inside of her wrist and tell me if you feel anything."

"There's a beat," she confirmed, sounding absolutely terrified.

Rick let out a breath, thanking whatever higher power for not killing her. "Okay. Good. I'm on my way. What's your address?"

"462 Madison. Third floor."

"Thanks, sweetie. I need you to stay calm and wait for me to get there."

"I'll try. How long will it be?" she asked him quietly.

"Fifteen minutes, tops."

Johanna nodded even though Rick couldn't see her. "Thanks Rick."

"I'll always be here for you, Jo."

(…)

Twelve minutes later, Rick was sprinting up three flights of stairs in a desperate need to get to the distraught child. He knocked loudly just wanting to wrap Johanna in his arms. "Jo, it's me, Rick."

The door opened a few moments later revealing a sad and lost looking little girl. Rick bent down to pick Johanna up. She curled into his chest, her head falling to his shoulder.

"It's okay, Sweetie. Momma's going to be just fine," Rick ensured her, dropping a soft kiss to her cheek.

"It's so scary," Johanna hiccupped. "I don't know what's going on, and she won't get up, and I need her. And I'm so scared. I just want my mom," she cried.

Rick ran his hands over her back, whispering encouraging words in her ear. After he got Johanna settled down, he spoke his plan. "How about you stay here while I go try to wake your mom up? Is that okay?" At Johanna's nod, he sat her on the couch and moved to the kitchen.

Kate was sprawled on the floor, a broken bottle of alcohol lying in pieces around her. Rick gasped. How much had she actually drunk? He walked towards her cautiously, trying to avoid any glass. He knelt down next to her, and moved her hair away from her face.

"Kate," he said, gently shaking her shoulder. "Kate," he said, a little louder this time. She trembled slightly, but still remained unconscious. A few more minutes of trying to wake her up, and Castle was victorious. She groaned, shifting slightly against the weight pushing against her. Kate cracked an eye open, peering up at whomever disturbed her slumber.

"Rick?" she asked groggily, fighting her heavy lids.

"Kate, God. I'm so glad you're okay," Rick whispered, dropping his head to look at the floor.

"What happened?" she asked, sitting up. Her head was pounding already. That couldn't be good.

Castle hesitated. He didn't really know what happened. "Uh. Your daughter called me. Told me she couldn't wake you up." Castle stopped, waiting for the information to sink in. "She was worried about you, Kate."

Kate's head dropped, the sparkle in her eyes fading fast. "I told myself I'd never be like my father," she whispered, refusing to make eye contact with him.

Instead of answering, Castle stayed silent, waiting for her to elaborate. After a few minutes of eerie silence, she did. "When my mom died," she paused, took a deep, calming breath, then continued, "My dad was a wreck. Drank himself into oblivion. It nearly killed me to watch him suffer. I never wanted my children to have to go through that. And I did. I screwed up, and scared Johanna." Her voice broke on her daughter's name. Castle followed the flowing tears down her face. "She'll never look at me the same," she cried.

"Kate, look at me, please." Castle waited until her tear-filled eyes lifted to him. "That's not going to happen. You're her role model. In the short time I've known your daughter, I've learned that. You mean the world to her, never doubt that."

Kate studied him for a moment, then nodded. "Thanks, Rick. For being there for her, even when I couldn't."

He shook his head. "Go clean yourself up, sober up. I'll clean this up and hang out with Jo."

"Don't think, that because of this, you can tell me what to do, Castle," Kate stated.

"Castle?" he questioned. That was new, but he liked it. Especially coming out of her mouth.

Kate shrugged, "Cop thing," she said by way of explanation. She got up, already moving to the bathroom. Over her shoulder, she called, "Besides, I think Castle fits you better than Rick."

Rick grinned. _Castle,_ yeah he liked that a lot. He got to work cleaning up the kitchen floor before he went to find Johanna. He plopped down on the couch next to her. For once, the two stayed completely silent.

Johanna was the one to break the silence. "I don't like it when you're quiet. It's weird," she confessed.

Castle laughed, his eyes crinkling with the smile. "Guess I'm not a quiet guy, am I?" Johanna shook her head, a small smile dancing on her lips. "Hey," he called. "Your mom's okay." He wasn't sure how much Kate wanted to tell her, so he stuck with a partial truth. "She's just not feeling very good. She went to take a shower, but she'll be out in no time."

Johanna didn't respond for a few minutes. She sat there, motionless on the couch, staring at the blank wall in front of her. Maybe she knew more than Castle gave her credit for. "You okay, sweetie?" he asked her.

She nodded. After another short moment of silence from the child, she perked up. "Do you want to see my room?" she asked excitedly.

Castle grinned, "Only if it has a lot of pink!"

Johanna scrunched her nose, "Ew."

"What do you mean 'ew'?" Castle asked her animatedly.

"Pink. I hate pink. It's so girly and gross." Johanna fake-shuttered.

Castle laughed. _Why am I not surprised?_ "You're just like your mother," he grinned at her.

Johanna smiled widely. "My mom's cool. So I like being like her!"

"Alright, munchkin. Show me your room," Castle ordered, standing as Johanna took his hand and pulled him from the couch.

Johanna explained to him every little detail of her bedroom. She pointed out her hockey sticks, her softball bats, her soccer balls, her posters. Everything she could think of. Castle was surprised. Kate had never been an athlete when they were young. In fact, she had barely been able to stand up on ice skates. Now she had a daughter who played ice hockey? Castle couldn't believe it.

"Did your mom teach you to skate?"

Johanna giggled. "Kinda. She would always come with me and Daddy, but Daddy was the one who taught me. He's really fast. Momma falls a lot."

A mischeivious grin spread across Castle's face. "Oh really?"

Johanna nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. It's really, really funny." Johanna perched herself on the lime green beanbag chair that was in the corner of her room. "I have some really cool books, too," she told him.

"Which ones? Harry Potter?"

"Duh!" she exclaimed. "Those are only like,_** THE**_best books in the world!"

"I know, right?! How many did you read so far?"

"Well, Momma reads them to me. But we just finished the second one last week. And we're on chapter three of the Prisoner of Azkaban!"

"Some of my favorites! How about we read a little bit of it now?"

Johanna's hazel eyes lit up. "Will you?" At Castle's nod, she squealed. "Yay! Here, sit here." She got up and pointed to the seat she had just vacated, motioning for him to sit. She crawled into his lap.

As Johanna scrambled onto his legs, Castle immediately wound his arms around her tiny frame, keeping her close by. He opened the book and began to read. His deep voice carried throughout the room. Johanna snuggled closer into his side, her mouth open on his chest. Ten pages later, and she was out like a light. Not wanting to disturb her, Castle settled back, his thoughts running circles in his head.

(…)

Kate finished her shower, feeling like a new women. After taking something for the killer headache, she found herself in her impeccably clean kitchen. She shook her head, thinking about how good of a man Castle really was. It was quiet, though. Definitely too quiet for the rambunctious eight-year old and Castle. Castle who was basically trapped in a nine-year old's body.

Kate wandered upstairs to Johanna's bedroom, figuring that was the only place the duo could be. She opened the door to reveal Johanna cuddling in Castle's embrace, both of them conked out on the small beanbag chair. Kate smiled. He was really good with her, and it warmed Kate's heart to know that no matter what happened to Will, Johanna would have Rick there. There to intimidate future boyfriends and mess with her teenaged hormones.

Wait. What? Did she really just imagine Castle being around in eight years or so? Crap, she was so screwed.

It was late, and Kate didn't want to wake them. She leaned down to the sleeping duo, kissing her daughter lightly on the cheek. Her left hand found Castle's cheek, and she felt his day's stubble rubbing against her wedding ring. A wedding ring that wasn't from him. She sighed, and pulled away before she could do something she'd regret later.

She shut her daughter's door only to lean back against it. She slid to the floor, her hands finding purchase in her hair. Her life was a mess right now. But, for some odd reason, she was happy.

**A/N: Thoughts? **


	11. Chapter 11

_It was late, and Kate didn't want to wake them. She leaned down to the sleeping duo, kissing her daughter lightly on the cheek. Her left hand found Castle's cheek, and she felt his day's stubble rubbing against her wedding ring. A wedding ring that wasn't from him. She sighed, and pulled away before she could do something she'd regret later._

_ She shut her daughter's door only to lean back against it. She slid to the floor, her hands finding purchase in her hair. Her life was a mess right now. But, for some odd reason, she was happy._

Rick felt a weight shift on his chest. He didn't remember who he had fallen asleep with but was soon reminded as tiny arms wrapped around his neck. Johanna was still out like a light, so he figured it'd be okay to move her to her bed. He stood up carefully, not wanting to wake her up. Moving to her bed, he pulled the comforter down with one hand as his other kept the sleeping girl tight against his chest. He laid her down softly, pulling the blankets up around her neck. He tried to straighten up when her small hands grasped the front of his shirt tightly. He gently pried her fingers from his shirt before he leaned down to kiss her forehead.

He loved this little girl. He may not have known her for very long, but he felt the same love he felt for Alexis. Johanna was sweet, and she obviously missed her father. Rick wasn't entirely sure her dad was ever around much anyway. He sighed. He knew how it felt to be missing a father your entire life. He vowed right then that he would be there for Johanna when she needed him. Even if they weren't blood related, she was still a daughter to him.

Rick walked out of the girl's room only to stumble over Kate. He fell, throwing his arms out to catch himself before he crushed Kate. He ended up straddling Kate with his arms on either side of her head. Her eyes opened slowly to see Rick staring at her from above her face. His heart was racing. He had been constantly thinking of feeling Kate's body against his since the day in the grocery store. She was going to be the death of him.

Realizing who was trapping her to the ground, she smiled slightly. She didn't mind being in this position. Nope, not one bit. But he didn't need to know that. "Castle, what are you doing?"

"I… I-uhm- I tripped coming out of Johanna's room. I didn't know you camped out in the hallway outside her door every night."

"Funny. I must've fallen asleep once I sat down out here."

"Yes it would appear that way," he commented. Then he realized he was still lying on top of her with her beautiful mouth only a few inches away from his. He licked his lips unconsciously as he peered down at Kate. He met her eyes again before speaking. "I should probably get off of you now."

Kate grinned wickedly. "I don't know, Castle. I kinda like having you close to me."

Castle groaned, rolling to the side of her. "Don't say things like that. You're married, and I won't be able to control myself."

Kate's smiled faltered as she glanced down at her rings. She didn't forget she was married; she just… conveniently overlooked that fact. She still wasn't sure what would happen with Will. A tear slipped out the corner of her eye as she pondered the possibilities.

Castle caught the tear rolling down her cheek. "Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry."

Kate shook her head. "Not your fault. I just don't know what's going to happen with Will. Johanna loves him to pieces, and he barely knew she existed before. Now he doesn't know at all. And I can't live with the heartbreak that she'll be going through, Rick. She's my whole world. I can't let her be hurt by this." She caught her breath before going on. "And then I failed her earlier. I let my pain get the best of me without even thinking about what it would do to my daughter. She must've been so scared, and I wasn't there for her. I didn't even get to say goodnight before she went to bed. What if she loses both of us to this?" She looked at him with pleading eyes that melted Rick's heart.

He put his hand on her knee. "I won't let it happen, Kate. It may be too late for Will, but if you need money that you don't have, I'll lend it to you," Kate opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off. "I'll let you pay me back. But you and I both know that you don't have the money to pay for some of the things that he's going to need. And while I may not know him personally, I know you and I know Johanna. And I love that little girl Kate. I'll do anything to make her happy. And if that means I need to take her for a few hours to let you have your space, then I will. And if it means she needs someone to cuddle up to and read a story, I'll do that too. I care about her, Kate. And she needs her father. I know what it's like to grow up without your dad. I won't let that happen to her. You can count on that."

The tears were flowing freely down Kate's cheeks now. "You have no idea how much that means to me," she whispered. "No one has ever done something like that for me before." She scooted herself so she was closer to him before she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Thank you, for loving her," she whispered in his ear.

"Don't thank me for that," he responded, wrapping his arms around her and closing his eyes. This wasn't exactly like he had dreamt about, but he wasn't willing to ruin a family. And just having her in his arms, that was good enough for now.

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long! My life has been crazy lately with softball! We're Section Champs though, and moving on to the playoffs! Wish us luck!**

**Anywayyy… any thoughts, comments, or ideas? I know this was short, but I wanted to throw something out. If anyone has any idea of where this should go next, please let me know. I'm taking suggestions!**


	12. Chapter 12

"_Don't thank me for that," he responded, wrapping his arms around her and closing his eyes. This wasn't exactly like he had dreamt about, but he wasn't willing to ruin a family. And just having her in his arms, that was good enough for now._

It was only a few weeks later when Will was released from the hospital. For the most part, his injuries had healed enough for him to move around on his own. His memory, however, was still foggy. He tried though. He honestly tried to remember Johanna. It nearly killed him to know his daughter had so many memories of him, but he had none of her.

Will was still working through physical therapy. He had an appointment four days a week for an hour each day. He hated it at first. But then his elderly therapist threw in the towel. When he retired, the office hired a replacement who they told him had "a few years of training under her belt" and would "challenge you enough to get you back to one hundred percent."

Did she ever. She was hot. That's the only word he could use to describe her. Young, blonde, killer body. Damn, she was definitely a sight for sore eyes. Will caught himself staring daily, and every time he regretted it. He had a wife. Granted, he didn't remember a thing about her, but he was still married. And she wasn't bad looking herself; she just was too tightly wound sometimes.

He had been going to this new therapist for five weeks now. He was getting better every visit, and he owed it all to Jackie. She really was amazing. His mind started running away with thoughts of Jackie in a bikini, or better yet, nothing at all, when a shrill voice snapped him from his daydream.

"Daddy!" Johanna whined again, "You need to leave if you're going to make it on time today."

Will looked at the clock, and sure enough he had twenty minutes to get to his appointment. "Thanks Joey. You want to come with me?"

Johanna shook her head. "Momma said we could go pick out a movie for tonight."

"Oooh. Make it a good one, alright?" he told her with a wink.

"Will do, Padre."

Will grinned, slowly leaning down to kiss the top of Johanna's head. He was getting better, but things still pulled if he moved to fast. "See ya, kid. Kate?" he called.

Kate came running out of their bedroom in sweats and a sports bra. "You heading?"

Will nodded as Kate moved closer to him. "See you in a few hours?" she asked.

"Of course," he responded. "Where else would I go?" he leaned down to capture her lips in a quick kiss. "I'll see you guys in a few. Love you."

"Love you, Daddy," Johanna said as the door closed quietly.

(…)

"Alexis? Are we still having a Star Wars marathon tonight?" Rick called to his daughter. He was standing at the stove cooking dinner, and Alexis had disappeared up the stairs to her bedroom a few minutes ago.

"Gimme one minute, Dad. I'll be down in a sec!"

Thirty seconds later, Alexis came bounding down the steps in a pair of gym shorts and a hoodie. She slid across the floor, collapsing into one of the seats at the counter. "To answer your question, yes we are. I'm beyond annoyed with my friends right now. I don't think I could spend an entire night with any of them."

"Why? What happened?"

Alexis shook her head before starting. "They try to make everything a competition between us. If I get a good grade on something, it's because I had the easy version of the test. Or they try to make me feel stupid by talking to me like I'm in Kindergarten. It's not my fault things just come easy to me. And I don't rub it in their faces if I do better than them. But if they do better than me, I never hear the end of it. Can't they just accept their grades and get over it?"

"Sounds to me like they're jealous, Pumpkin."

"You think? Why should they be jealous of me? I mean Paige is absolutely gorgeous, and she's the best dancer I've ever seen. And Rach, well she's got almost every guy running after her."

"Because you have it all. You're beautiful, you're brilliant, you can dance, and you have an absolutely wonderful personality. They should be jealous they don't have what you do. And, honestly, you have a pretty cool dad, too," he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

It worked. Alexis tried to hide the smile, but failed miserably. "Yeah, my dad is pretty great." She smiled up at him. Blue eyes shining with love for her father. "But I think his daughter is even better."

"Ah, I've taught you well, young grasshopper. You ready to eat?"

Alexis nodded, hopping off her stool to grab plates out of the cupboard. As she passed her father, she bumped his hip with hers. "I love you, Dad."

"Love you too, Pumpkin," he said kissing her hair, "More than you'll ever know."

After the table was clear, the duo raced to the living room. Rick jumped over the back of the couch, landing with a thud. Alexis laughed at his clumsiness. "Graceful, Dad. You should've been a ballroom dancer."

"Hey, I would've been a damn good dancer."

"Sure," Alexis said with a roll of her eyes. After a few minutes of the first Star Wars played, Alexis spoke up. "Hey Dad?" Rick looked over at her from the opposite side of the couch. "Have you talked to Kate lately? I kinda miss Johanna."

"Her husband was only released a couple weeks ago. She's been busy trying to keep everything under control and won't accept the help I offered. I'd love to have Johanna over for a day, but Kate is just so stubborn."

"How's he doing, anyway?"

"Will? From what she's said, he's getting better every day. Still not ready to go back to work, but good enough to be moving around and doing light exercise."

"What about his memory?"

Rick sighed. He had hoped that she wouldn't bring it up. It hurt too much to think that he could so easily never remember a single thing about his daughter. "That's not doing so well. Kate says he still doesn't remember a thing, though he tries to act like everything is normal for Johanna's sake."

"That must be so hard for her," Alexis mused. "I can't even imagine if you couldn't remember me. It'd be absolutely devastating."

They sat in silence for a few moments. Then, Alexis spoke.

"I hope they all are okay."

"Me too, Pumpkin. Me too."

(…)

Will was just finishing his hamstring curls when Jackie walked back into the room.

"How're we doing in here?" she asked.

"Good. Almost done with these."

"And the pain?"

"Little bit less again. Good sign, right?"

Jackie smiled, "Definitely. We gotta get you back up and running soon." A comfortable silence fell between the two as Will finished up the set he was working on. "Any big plans for 4th of July weekend?"

"Not this year, no." He debated on telling her what Kate had told him earlier in the day. About he usually took his family up to the mountains, but he decided against it. She didn't need to know about them. "The accident kinda screwed up any plans I could've made." He laughed a laugh with little humor. "How about you?"

"No. Still waiting for this really attractive man to ask me out. But he's kind of jacked up from an accident a couple months back. So I suppose I should be patient."

Will paused, and mentally sorted out her words. Did she mean what he thought she meant? Yes. No. She couldn't mean that, right? No, she definitely could. He was married though. With a child. He couldn't do it. Hell, screw it. "Do you want to have plans?"

Jackie turned to face him. "Are you asking me out?" she asked with a shy smile.

"Are you saying yes?"

Jackie's smile grew. "I would love too."

Will grinned. "Great. Tomorrow's Saturday, right?" At Jackie's nod, he continued. "Are you busy tomorrow evening?"

"No. I'm free for the weekend."

"I'll see you tomorrow at six then. Wear something casual."

"Sounds like a date," she threw over her shoulder as she walked away. A smile danced on her lips, and Will struggled to keep the grin off his face. Score one for the boys back home.

**A/N: So… Thoughts?**


	13. Chapter 13

"**Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand. ** **I've seen your face before my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am. Well I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes. So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been. It's all been a pack of lies." –Phil Collins**

"_I'll see you tomorrow at six then. Wear something casual."_

_ "Sounds like a date," she threw over her shoulder as she walked away. A smile danced on her lips, and Will struggled to keep the grin off his face. Score one for the boys back home._

Kate finally had a day off. It was the first day in what seemed like forever, but in reality was only a few months. That is, the first she wasn't taking care of husband. She didn't usually mind, but with Will's accident, a day off seemed like even more work than actually going to work did.

Johanna had spent the day at a friend's house, but she was due back any minute now. Will was at physical therapy. While Kate had the house to herself, she decided to get some much needed cleaning out of the way. Starting with laundry. The dirty clothes pile was getting out of hand. The stack was visibly growing by the second. Something had to be done with that. With a sigh, Kate headed to the laundry closet to start the first load.

Emptying the washer, Kate started gathering clothes for the next load. After filling the machine up about half way, she hurried to her bedroom to pick up the clothes that had been strewn across the floor earlier in the week. She gathered up a handful of Will's shirts, bringing them close to her face as she did so. She breathed in, inhaling an unfamiliar scent. A feminine scent that definitely wasn't anything she wore. Confused, Kate brought one of the shirts to her nose again. This time she inhaled more deeply. No, definitely not hers.

Her mind began to race. Was he really cheating on her? Will would never do something like that to her. Would he? He was always so committed to their relationship. He couldn't actually be seeing someone else. But that definitely wasn't her perfume on his shirt. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. He had been going to "physical therapy" an awful lot. By now, the appointments should have been shortening, but instead he was gone longer than before. Had he met someone there? He hadn't mentioned anybody new since he started.

Kate checked the clock on the bedside table. Will had been gone for three and a half hours now. There was absolutely no way that his appointment lasted this long. There had to be another woman. There had to be. Kate felt a tear slip down her cheek. She hastily wiped at it with the back of her hand. Why was she crying? She didn't even know anything for sure. But more importantly, it's not like Will had been the same since the accident anyway. He barely even remembered her name, and he hadn't acted like her husband in the slightest. More tears were escaping her eyes as she frantically tried to stop their paths.

"I hate this!" she yelled at the empty house. She growled at nothing in particular, throwing Will's shirts back on the bed, but gathering the rest of hers up to finish the wash. She had just finished filling the machine when she heard the front door open. Kate ran a finger beneath her eyes, catching the remaining tears that had made home there.

"Mom?" she heard Johanna yell. "Mom, where are you? I'm back!"

"In here, baby," Kate called back, relieved that she didn't have to face him right away. Johanna came running to the door with a happy expression on her face.

"Hey Mom! Guess who I got to see today!"

"Who?"

"Rick and Alexis!"

Kate paused. Why had she come across them? "Really? Where'd you see them at?"

"Well, me and Karlee wanted to go to the park. So her mom took us down to the park by her house. You know the one with the really big slide and the really fun swings?" At Kate's nod, Johanna continued. "Anyway we were playing tag with a couple other kids who were there and Karlee ran into someone by mistake. She fell down, so I ran over to help her up. And it was Rick! He took Alexis to get ice cream, and they were walking home. I really like Alexis. She's so pretty and so funny. I hope I'm just like her when I'm as old as her."

Kate grinned. "You will be. You're already gorgeous and so very, very funny."

Johanna smiled. "Do you think we can go see them some time soon? I miss them."

"I think that's a good idea. How about I call Rick and see when they're free and we'll try to arrange something? Sound like a plan?"

Johanna nodded. "Where's Dad?"

Kate frowned. "Still at PT. He should be home pretty soon."

Johanna looked away from her mother. But Kate could still tell something was wrong. "Jo, what's the matter?" She just shook her head, refusing to meet her mother's eyes. "You can tell me, you know? No matter what it is. I can help."

Johanna took a deep breath. In a quiet, barely above a whisper, "I miss Daddy."

"Oh, Sweetie. Daddy will be home in a few minutes." Johanna shook her head again.

"He's not the same. He doesn't like to do things with me. He doesn't care about me anymore Mom. I don't think he cares about me or you. He's never home. He's always at physical therapy. Why doesn't he like to be with us, Mom?"

Kate's heart broke as she looked into her daughter's tear-filled eyes. "Baby, come here." She gathered her daughter into her arms, leaning down to lay her cheek against the top of her head. She felt Johanna fit herself into her chest, her little arms wrapping around her waist. "Everything will be okay, I promise. Even if Daddy doesn't get better, I promise I'll be there for you. Always."

"Always, Momma," Johanna whispered against her mother's chest. "I love you."

"Love you more, Sweetie."

(…)

Rick had taken his publisher out to dinner that night. Gina Cowell was beautiful, no doubt about it. But she was obnoxious too. Why he had ever married her years ago was beyond him. Her personality aside, she was the best publisher around and wanted to discuss some ideas for his latest book. They were half way through their meal when Rick glanced over Gina's shoulder to see someone totally unexpected.

It was Will. He had only ever seen the guy once, and he was still pretty mangled at that point. But he knew it was him. And there was a tall, stunning blonde on his arm. It wasn't Kate, and they were definitely standing too close to be just friends.

For the rest of dinner, Castle only half paid attention to the details that Gina was throwing at him. He was more focused on the intensity flowing between Will and his friend. When Will leaned over to kiss her, Rick stood up suddenly.

"Rick? Is everything okay?" Gina asked, worried.

"I, uh, yeah. I'm really sorry. But I need to go. I'll call you tomorrow? We'll schedule something." Rick hurried out the door, the image of Kate's husband with another woman burned into his brain. He barely registered Gina calling for him as he left.

Castle sped through the crowds on the sidewalks. He didn't really know what he planned to do. He couldn't just go tell Kate that her husband was cheating on her. That wasn't his place. They weren't that close anymore. But he couldn't pretend like he didn't know anything. That would only hurt Kate in the end. He slowed his pace, walking to an empty bench near a coffee shop. He sat down, gathering his thoughts.

Maybe he could just drop by Kate's with Alexis. Say Alexis wanted to see Johanna after seeing her briefly in the park. Then, they could talk. And maybe it would casually come up. Yeah, that could work. He wrestled his phone out of his pocket, dialing his daughter as he did so. "Hey, Pumpkin. I was thinking about dropping by Kate's place just to say hi. You wanna come with me?" He waited awhile as his daughter answered. "Okay. I'll be home in ten minutes. Love you."

Standing, Castle looked at the coffee shop he had stopped next to. It couldn't hurt to bring her a coffee, right?

**A/N: So… Thoughts?**


	14. Chapter 14

"**I'll be there for you. These five words I swear to you."**

**-Bon Jovi**

_Standing, Castle looked at the coffee shop he had stopped next to. It couldn't hurt to bring her a coffee, right? _

Kate had been camped out on the living room couch for a little over an hour when a knock sounded at the door. Will still wasn't home. Not that she was surprised any more. Confused, she disengaged herself from her daughter's sleepy body to answer the door. Swinging the door open, she saw that it was Castle and Alexis.

Startled, she ushered them inside. "Hey, guys. What brings you to this part of town?"

Castle grinned at her as Alexis ran over to Johanna to talk. "Alexis wanted to hang out with Johanna. This isn't a bad time, is it?"

Kate shook her head. "No, we just were watching movies." She eyed the two coffees in his hand, wishing she had a cup herself.

"Oh! Here," he handed her one of the cups, "This is for you." He watched as she took the offered cup from his hand and brought it to her lips. A slow smile spread across her face as the liquid touched her tongue.

"How'd you know?" she asked him with a shy smile.

He furrowed his brow. "Know what?" he asked her.

"That this is my favorite!" she exclaimed, taking another sip of the now-cooling coffee.

"You do remember that we were best friends in high school, right?" he asked her, teasingly.

Kate blushed. "You remember my coffee order?"

"Of course I do. I can't even count how many times I had to get you coffee before you snapped on someone… Usually me."

"Shut up," she muttered, playfully shoving him. "I wasn't that bad."

"Yeah, neither was the wicked witch of the west." He ducked out of the way of her swinging hand. He grinned at his skillful evasion, his eyes settling on Kate's face.

She was chewing on her bottom lip; a nervous habit she'd had even when they were young. Her eyebrows were scrunched, like she contemplating how to bring something up. He figured it'd be better if he just made it easier for her. "How's Will doing?"

There was a flash of anger, then hurt, in Kate's eyes before she answered. "Better. The physical therapy is really getting him up and about." Her tone indicated that she already knew what he had seen just a few minutes earlier. She walked away from the door to the kitchen table. She plopped herself in one of the chairs before rubbing her forehead with her hand.

"You don't sound happy about that?" Castle asked hesitantly, following her into the kitchen. He leaned his hip against the counter, his body angling towards hers, but still giving her the space she needed.

She shrugged.

"You wanna talk about it?" he suggested quietly.

Kate's tear-filled eyes met his clear, blue ones, and suddenly, she wasn't so bothered by her husband's cheating. The man in front of her pushed away all those worries. She looked down at the coffee mug still clutched in her hands. "Will's cheating on me," she whispered.

So she did know. That was a relief to Castle. Well, sort of. He was debating on whether he should confirm her suspicions when she spoke again.

"I mean, I'm not entirely sure. But his shirts smell like perfume, and it's not mine. So… it seems pretty clear to me. Maybe I'm just being rash."

"You're not," Castle stated quietly.

"What?" Kate asked startled. Her eyes flew from the coffee to the man across the kitchen. "You've known about this?" she asked, suddenly angry. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Woah! Let me explain, please?" He waited until her eyes calmed down before continuing. "I was out tonight with Gina, my publisher, and I saw him with another woman. I knew I had to tell you, but I didn't know how. I'm sorry if you don't think it's my place to get involved, but Kate, I can't watch you get hurt. It would kill me to see you in pain." As he quieted, he noticed the tears rolling down Kate's cheeks.

"I can't believe it," she whispered to no one in particular. "I never thought this would happen to me. I thought everything would be okay. That'd he'd remember everything, and our family would go on perfectly. What am I supposed to tell Johanna? She's already noticed a change in him. God, Castle, what do I do?" she barely got the words out before sobs wracked her body.

Castle left his position on the counter moving to Kate. He unwrapped her hands from the coffee, and pulled her up and into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her back, rubbing soothing circles. He felt her arms come to circle his waist, her hands clutching at his shirt.

"Everything will be okay, Kate. I promise I will be here to help you through everything. Anything you need, I'm here. Okay?"

She nodded against his chest, her head tucked beneath his chin. He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt, but at this point, he really couldn't care less. He was just relieved that she was taking comfort in him and not in the bottle again. He pressed a soft kiss into her hair, his eyes closing as he inhaled her scent.

"Thank you, Castle," she mumbled into his chest.

"Always, Kate."

Kate pulled away after a few more minutes, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. She looked up into his eyes. They held each other's gazes for what felt like an eternity. There was something there, they both felt it. It was magical. Kate looked away before anything more happened. "I'm going to go clean up a bit. I'll be right back."

Castle nodded, letting his arms fall from around her body. Before leaving his embrace, Kate leaned up on her toes to kiss the stubble beneath his jaw. She turned and walked away without a backward glance. Castle just stood there, motionless, in shock. Did she just kiss him?

"Rick!" he heard a small voice call from the living room. "Will you play Twister with me and Alexis?"

Castle hurried into the room, trying to erase the fantasies that already popped into his head. "Of course! But I'll have you know, I am the Twister champion!" he said, over-exaggerating stretching out his legs.

"Puu-lease, Dad," Alexis said, all fake-attitude, "You can barely touch your toes!"

"We'll see, Little Miss. We'll see… Who's first?"

(…)

"Okay," Alexis said, reaching from her position to spin the spinner. "Dad, left foot green!" Castle lifted his left foot, trapped under both girls, and slowly, crossed it behind his back to an open green space.

"Ha! Got it!" he bragged.

Kate walked out of her bedroom to see all three of them twisted and turned in uncomfortable positions. Castle's shirt was riding up, exposing his surprisingly well-developed stomach muscles. Kate tried to look away, but her eyes kept being drawn back to the visible skin. She always knew he was built well, she just didn't know he was built _that _well. It didn't help that his jeans were hung low on his hips, and were shaping his butt _very _nicely.

"Mom!" Johanna exclaimed. "Do you want to play, too?"

Kate's eyes moved from Castle's body to her daughter. "I, uh, I don't think so, Jo."

"But Moooom!" Johanna whined, "It's more fun with more people!"

"Yeah, Kate!" Alexis said, "It'll be tons more fun if you play too!" She flashed Kate a charming smile that Kate couldn't say no to.

"Please, Kate?" Castle asked, sounding like a five-year old. "Please play with us?"

"Fine," she agreed reluctantly. She was going to regret this…

After about ten minutes into the new game with Kate, Kate was rethinking her previous thought. Her lower body was beneath Castle's legs while he was sprawled over her to reach his dots. Any time he moved, some part of his body came into contact with her stomach. She couldn't help the butterflies that erupted every single time his bare skin brushed her waist. Both Alexis and Johanna had gotten out, both falling when they tried to step over one of the adults.

"Dad! Right hand red!" Castle moved his right hand to its designated spot which left him face to face with Kate. There were only a few inches between their mouths, and Castle's eyes kept moving back to her lips.

"Kate! Left foot yellow!" Kate moved her left leg, bringing her knee into contact with his groin. He groaned.

"Seriously? There was no way that wasn't intentional," he said to her quietly.

With an innocent expression, she replied, "What was intentional?"

"You'll be the death of me, I swear."

"Fun way to die, huh."

"You have no idea," he answered her with a grin.

**A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates lately. I've been swamped with softball and finals and what not. I'll try to get chapters up a little more often! So… Thoughts?**


	15. Chapter 15

"**Times are tough and times are strange, but times one thing that you can't change. Love is a noun and love is a verb, and sometimes love is a dirty word."**

**-Rodney Atkins**

"_You'll be the death of me, I swear."_

_ "Fun way to die, huh."_

_ "You have no idea," he answered her with a grin._

Alexis and Johanna had run upstairs to Johanna's bedroom, leaving the two adults to clean up the game. Castle was folding the mat up when he finally spoke.

"Do you remember when all of our friends used to play this?" he asked, a slight smile on his face as he focused on the task at hand. "This game was awesome."

Kate snorted. "You only liked it because it meant you got to feel up one of the girls."

"Hey!" Castle said it mock-outrage. "I'll have you know that I didn't just feel up any girl. You were the only one I had my sights set on."

"For some reason, I don't believe you at all," Kate commented dryly.

"Now why would that be?"

"Oh, I don't know… It may have something to do with the Homecoming Dance my junior year," she said as she took the empty cups into the kitchen. She tossed them into the sink with a loud clang.

"Kate," Castle said, pleading. "I'm sorry about that. I was an asshole. I know that and you know that, and probably everyone in our high school knew that. I've never forgiven myself for passing up an opportunity to be with you."

"Castle, it was twenty years ago. I'm over it." Even as she said the words, she refused to look in his eyes. She knew he'd see right through the lie. The truth was that she had had a major crush on him as a teenager, but she always assumed he was interested in another girl. So she waited. And one night they decided that they were going to the Homecoming Dance together. Naturally, Kate was ecstatic. But once they had arrived at the dance, both looking gorgeous as ever, he had left her for another girl. A fake, stuck-up, blonde girl who had zero personality. The only thing she had going for her was the size of her boobs. Those babies made every man in the room stare at her chest for way longer than was appropriate. Yeah, maybe that subject was still a little touchy.

"You are still not a good liar, Kate." He grabbed her hand as she tried to turn away. Pulling her back to face him, she kept her eyes down. He touched her chin, bringing her eyes up to meet his. He held her face in the palm of his hand, held her eyes with his. "I apologize for being an inconsiderate, self-centered jackass. Forgive me?"

Kate automatically leaned into his touch. She nodded. "I forgave you a long time ago, Rick," she whispered to the silent room. She leaned towards him, her eyes closing ever so slightly when the door crashed open. Kate jumped away from Castle, swatting his hands away.

"Shit. Will's home. You need to go," Kate ordered.

Castle gave her a disbelieving look. "Really? You're worried about him catching us in a compromising position, aren't you?" He took her silence for a yes, and continued on. "News flash, baby. He's the one cheating, here. You don't have anything to hide."

"Don't call me 'baby,'" Kate growled at him. "I just don't want to fight with him tonight."

"Kate?" Will called as he walked into the kitchen. "I'm home. And we have company?" He looked questioningly at Kate. She did not look happy. "I'm sorry, but I don't remember who you are," he said to Castle.

"Rick Castle. We never met before actually."

"Oh. Will Sorenson. This may sound terribly rude, but can I ask what you're doing here? It's awfully late."

Kate scoffed. Castle turned a glare on her, but answered. "Actually my daughter and Johanna, you know… your daughter, are friends. I just stopped by to pick her up." _That was rude_, Castle thought to himself. _But he deserves it._

Will eyed Castle cautiously. He nodded. "I see… Well I'm going to go shower, freshen up a bit. Nice to meet you." They shook hands, both leveling the other man with a heavy stare.

Once Will left the room, Kate laughed. "That was low… Even for you."

Castle grinned. "Funny, I thought the same thing. I'm sorry if I overstepped. My mouth goes faster than my head."

"I noticed," Kate responded dryly. "You better go before things get heated though. Don't need any more drama in my life."

Castle nodded, agreeing. "Alexis?" he called up the stairs. "Time to go, Pumpkin!"

"Be down in a sec, Dad!" she yelled back.

Castle walked to the door, Kate following close behind. "Castle. Thank you so much for everything. You distracted me enough to be normal for my daughter, and I don't think you realize how much that means to me."

"Don't mention it, Kate. I know you'd do the same for me." He smiled a genuine smile before his face fell serious. "Call me if you need anything, okay? I don't care what time it is, I'll be there. Especially if things don't go well tonight. If you just want Johanna out of the house, I'll come pick her up."

Kate nodded, her eyes conveying her thanks. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Rick."

"Probably just die from boredom."

Kate smiled. She leaned up wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'll see you soon?" she whispered in his ear. He nodded against her cheek. Kate breathed a sigh of relief. Before she could think twice about it, she turned and pressed her lips against his cheek. She pulled away then.

She hadn't fully untangled herself from his arms when he pulled her into his chest again. "This game you're playing… It's not fair." She smiled into his neck, placing a soft kiss on the exposed skin.

"I play dirty," she commented with a mischievous glint in her eye. She pulled away as she heard Alexis bound down the stairs.

"I'm ready to go!" she announced. "Thanks for having us, Kate."

"Anytime, Sweetie. Now go home to get some sleep. I'll see you guys soon!"

"Bye!" Alexis said. Castle smiled at Kate, still processing those three little words she whispered into his neck.

Kate watched them leave before she shut the door. As the door clicked shut, she turned around to see Will standing in the living room with his arms folded across the chest.

"That hug seemed a little friendly, didn't it?" Will questioned, eyes filled with hatred.

**A/N: Hope this one suits your fancies. Tell me… Do you guys like the song quotes as epigraphs or should I nix those altogether? Let me know!**

**Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?**


	16. Chapter 16

"**Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars. Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are."**

**-Green Day**

_Kate watched them leave before she shut the door. As the door clicked shut, she turned around to see Will standing in the living room with his arms folded across the chest._

_ "That hug seemed a little friendly, didn't it?" Will questioned, eyes filled with hatred._

"What? I'm not allowed to hug another man? Are you kidding me?" Kate asked accusingly.

"He's not just another man. You were into him in high school!" Will shouted.

Kate froze. High school? She hadn't told him anything about that since the accident. The only way he would have known that was if he remembered. Kate could feel the tears well up in her eyes. She tried to hold them back, but one adamant drop slid down her cheek, causing a torrent to start flowing. "You remember that?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Of course I remember that! If he wouldn't have done what he did, we never would've been married! That's not something you happen to forget!"

"What else do you remember? Last time I checked, you didn't remember a thing about me or our daughter."

Will stopped completely. His muscles froze. He was rooted into place. The color from his face drained, leaving him pale and worried. "Kate, I can explain."

"Save it. I know you're cheating. I gave you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't remember what we had, but now I know the truth. I get it. You don't want me anymore. But don't think that you'll get to see Johanna." Kate turned away. The tears were flowing freely now. How could he do this to her? He remembered and didn't care.

"You can't do that to me! I love her, too! Don't you remember the day she was born? She had me wrapped around her little finger within ten seconds! You can't take her away from me!"

Kate gaped at him, still facing the other way. "How much exactly do you remember?"

"Kate! Listen!" Kate turned around slowly, holding her head high. She didn't want him to know just how much this was affecting her.

"Why should I? Your memory has obviously returned, and you still didn't care about your family. That's your loss, not mine. I'm sorry, Will. I know you're hurt, but I can't live with a man I don't trust." Kate walked to the stairs only to find Johanna standing at the top of the steps. Her eyes were wide as she heard for the first time what was going on.

"Baby, I'm so sorry you found out like this." Kate wasn't sure Johanna actually understood what was going on, but she was sure she knew the gist of the situation.

"Momma, are we staying?" she asked. Kate had never seen her little girl so hurt in her life.

She shook her head. "We're going to go to Grandpa's. Can you pack a few outfits and anything else you need? We'll leave in a little bit." Her daughter nodded, walking slowly back to her bedroom. Kate sat on the bottom step and dropped her head into her hands. She didn't want Johanna to find out like this. She wanted to explain it to her. She checked the time and saw that it was already pretty late. Her dad may already be asleep for the night. But she did have a key. She sighed before standing. Kate walked back into the living room to find Will standing there, his eyes shining with disbelief.

"You're actually leaving?" he asked accusingly.

"_We're_ leaving," Kate cleared up. "Johanna's coming with me."

Will laughed. "I'm still her father. You'll have to let me see her some time anyway."

"Did you forget that I'm a cop? I can have it arranged that you don't. Oh wait, that's right… You remember everything, again. My mistake."

"Did you forget that I'm with the FBI? My connections are a little higher than yours. And if I want full custody of my daughter, then I'll have it. And you won't be able to do anything about it. Besides, who is going to be a better parent anyway? Any court will say that my working hours are more favorable for raising a child. Especially after the accident. I'm at a mostly desk job, and it's going to stay that way. I'll be home at five every night, and there's a less chance that I'll be killed on the job. Now with you… That's a whole different story. You're in the field on a daily basis. Every day there's a doubt that you will come home at night. And even if you aren't killed, you've been known to stay working on a case all night long. So just think really carefully before you take our daughter away from me. You will never pull this one off."

Kate's eyes welled up with tears. He was right. And that was absolutely killing her. There's no way he could take Jo away from her. She was her whole world. She made her smile on her darkest days. He couldn't do this to her. To them.

"Watch me," she said with as much ice and venom in her words as she had ever used before. She left Will standing there as she moved to the bedroom to pack a few things of her own.

Kate walked back into the living room at the same time Johanna bounded down the stairs, her backpack trailing behind her. Her little face looked so sad it nearly broke Kate's heart. "You ready to go, Babe?"

Johanna nodded, her hazel eyes shining with unshed tears. She was trying her hardest to hold the tears back. She was just as stubborn as her mother when it came to showing her weaknesses. Kate ushered her to the door. "Say bye to Daddy," Kate told her.

Johanna shook her head. "Go to hell, Dad," she said as she slammed the door behind her.

"Johanna!" Kate shrieked. She didn't know her daughter even knew how to swear. Not that hell was a terribly bad curse, but still. She couldn't find it in herself to discipline her daughter for her words, though. She agreed with them too much.

"What!?" Johanna questioned her mother.

"Watch your language!" Kate ordered.

"Sorry, Mom. But that's how I feel. He hurt me and he hurt you."

"I'm not saying I disagree with you, but you still need to watch your mouth. I don't want you saying things like that at school or around friends. Got it?"

"Got it," Johanna responded grudgingly.

Together, Johanna and Kate hurried to the car. They tossed their bags into the backseat, and buckled themselves in. With a sad smile at each other, they left their home. For Johanna, this felt like the end of her family life. For Kate, it felt as if she were finally free.

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait! My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital for the past few weeks and I've been traveling out of state for softball tournaments. I know this isn't one of the better chapters, but please bear with me while I go through this. **

** My pap isn't doing well at all, so keep him in your prayers.**

** On a happier note, let me know what you think of the chapter. Any suggestions as to where it should go next are greatly appreciated!**


	17. Chapter 17

** "If you wanna call me, call me, call me, you don't have to worry bout it, Baby. You can wake me up in the dead of the night, wreck my plans, Baby, that's alright. This is a drop everything kind of thing. Swing on by, I'll pour you a drink. The door's unlocked; I'll leave on the lights. Baby, you can crash my party anytime."**

**-Luke Bryan**

_Together, Johanna and Kate hurried to the car. They tossed their bags into the backseat, and buckled themselves in. With a sad smile at each other, they left their home. For Johanna, this felt like the end of her family life. For Kate, it felt as if she were finally free_.

About ten minutes into the drive to her father's house, Kate remembered that he had told her he had company. A friend of his had family in town and needed more space for them to stay. Naturally, Jim offered his extra bedroom for the family. Kate groaned, throwing her head back onto the headrest.

"You okay, Mom?" Johanna asked. She eyed her mom carefully. She was actually waiting for the emotional breakdown that was bound to happen sometime soon. She hated those. Her mom was usually so strong. When she started to cry, it made Johanna cry with her. She didn't want that to happen tonight.

"Yeah. I just forgot that Grandpa has company this week."

"Oh… So we can't stay there?"

Kate shrugged. "I'm sure we could. There's just not any space for us to sleep. Besides the floor."

"Could we stay with Lanie?"

Kate thought about that option for a minute, then shook her head. She and Esposito were still a thing, and Kate figured that he'd be there. She didn't want to interrupt anything they had.

Johanna thought for a minute. "What about Rick?" Her voice was quiet as she suggested this. She knew that there was something between her mom and Rick; she just didn't know what that something was yet.

Kate brought her bottom lip between her teeth. Staying with him had jumped into her mind from the very start. She just never thought it would come down to that. Plus, she didn't want to inconvenience him. She sighed. "I'll call him."

Johanna grinned. Kate pulled into a nearby parking lot so she could look for her phone. Once she found it, she scrolled through the programmed numbers until she highlighted Rick's name. She pressed send, and held her breath. He had only left a few hours ago, but it was already late. After the third ring, he answered, his voice groggy with sleep.

"Hello?" he slurred.

"Hey, it's me. Did I wake you?" Kate asked worriedly. Her eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"No, I wasn't really asleep yet. What's up?" he asked, sitting up in bed. The sheets fell from his upper body, leaving his well-developed chest exposed to the chilly air.

"Uhm… It's a long story. But I need to ask you a huge favor…" she trailed off. She didn't want to ask him. She felt like she was overstepping some major line in their relationship.

"Sure. Anything," he told her sincerely, interrupting her inner monologue fight.

"Will and I got into a huge fight. Long story short, I left and took Johanna with me. And…" She felt lost asking him for this. "You know what? Nevermind."

"Kate…" he said disapproval ringing in his voice. "Spit it out. Do you need somewhere to stay?"

Kate let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. It was amazing how he read her mind sometimes. "Yeah," she whispered into the phone. She felt tears prick the back of her eyes. "I don't want to interrupt you guys though."

"Baby, you can crash my party anytime."

"Isn't that a song?" she asked

"That's not the point. When will you be here?"

Kate glanced at the clock. "Twenty minutes maybe?"

Rick nodded. "Okay. I'll see you in a few then."

"Thank you, Castle. I'll never be able to repay you for this."

Rick shook his head. He still didn't understand her sometimes. "Always, Kate."

That one little word made Kate's heart jump. She didn't know why, but that had become their word. Their signature. Their thing. And she couldn't help but love it. "I'll see you in a few." She ended the call.

"So we're staying with Rick?" Jo asked her with a smirk.

"Yeah. Yeah, we are." Kate smiled. He was a good guy. A really good guy, actually.

Kate and Johanna drove in silence for a few minutes. After a while, Johanna couldn't hold back her words that were threatening to escape. "You should kiss him."

Kate spluttered. "Excuse me?" she asked after catching her breath. Images of her mouth touching his cocky smirk filled her mind, making her whole body warmer than it should be.

"You should kiss him," Johanna repeated.

"And why is that?" Kate questioned.

Johanna shrugged. "For all he's done for us. Plus, I know you loved him so…"

"What about your father?"

"Well… He hurt you, Mom. I don't care what he thinks anymore." Johanna paused. "And I really like Rick. He's a really good dad to Lex, and I wouldn't mind having him as my dad either."

"Whoa, slow down there." Kate took a breath, taking in everything her daughter said. "We are not together. And we probably never will be. Don't get your hopes up, little one."

Johanna sighed. "Fine."

Kate shook her head. She was utterly amazed by her daughter's openness about the situation. Johanna was never one to speak her mind on anything. Much less her mother's love life when she was technically still married to another man.

It started pouring as soon as they pulled up to the Castle's apartment. Kate groaned at the torrential downpour they were about to run through. Grabbing their bags, they made a mad dash to the door. The doorman opened the doors just in time to let them through. Kate threw a grateful smile to the older man as they made their way to the elevator. As the elevator doors closed, Kate and Johanna looked at each other and started laughing. They both were soaked from head to toe, and Kate's mascara was running down her face.

"Looking good, Mom," Johanna joked, pushing her wet hair away from her face.

"You're not one to be talking," Kate said, sticking her tongue out at her daughter.

They were still grinning as they walked up to the door. Kate knocked. They heard shuffling on the other side before the door opened. Castle stood on the other side of the door wiping the sleep away from his eyes. He was sporting a pair of sweats and a hoodie. His hair was sticking up in every direction, making him look absolutely adorable.

"Hey," he greeted them. He ushered them inside before shutting and locking the door behind them. "Lex is in her room Jo. She's probably still awake. You can run up and spend the night with her." Johanna nodded, running for the stairs.

"Night, Mom! Night, Rick!" she called behind her.

"Night, Sweetie," Kate replied. She turned to look at Castle. That was when Castle actually saw her for the first time.

He grinned. "You look a lot better without make up running down your face," he commented. He reached out to wipe some of the mascara from under her eye. She swatted his chest.

"Shut up, Castle."

He chuckled. "Here, I'll take your bag to the guest room." Kate followed him up the stairs, admiring the way his sweat pants clung to his butt. She had to hold back the urge to slap his ass as she passed him at the doorway. "We'll talk tomorrow? It's late and you need some sleep."

Kate nodded. "Thanks again, Rick."

"Don't worry about it. You'd do the same for me."

"Night," she told him.

"Good night, Kate."

Kate watched him disappear down the stairs and into his bedroom. She sighed. She needed to get out of these wet clothes. Shutting the door, she slowly stripped off everything she was wearing as she was soaked to the skin. She shivered as the cold air touched her bare skin.

She quickly looked through her bag. She threw on a pair of yoga pants and a hoodie. She moved into the bathroom, chuckling at how bad her make up really was. She found a wash cloth and began to wash away the disaster on her face. After she brushed her teeth and hair, she went back to the bedroom. Climbing into the bed, she sighed. She was exhausted, but she knew sleep wouldn't be coming easily to her.

She tossed back and forth, finding her bed both too cold and too big. She sighed, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. It had been almost two hours since she got here. Bringing her hands to her face, she groaned. She debated on going and waking Rick up. She knew he wouldn't mind, but she still felt awful about it. _Screw it,_ she thought.

Kate slowly got up from bed, making her way to the door. She tiptoed across the hall to check on the girls. They were both soundly asleep curled up on Alexis' bed. She smiled at the scene. Alexis and Johanna were already as close as sisters. She made her way downstairs, stopping outside of Castle's bedroom. With a deep breath, she knocked lightly on his door. There was no answer, but she entered slowly anyway. She needed him. She didn't care that she should've just gone back to her bedroom. She wanted him, wanted to be close to him.

Standing at his bedside, she watched him sleep for a few moments. He had tossed his hoodie to the chair by the window, leaving him bare chested. He moved, his eyes opening slightly. He looked at Kate before reaching out and grabbing her wrist. Pulling her down onto his bed, he moved closer to the middle.

Kate let herself fall into the bed. Once she was settled in the bed, she felt his arms wrap around her stomach, and pull her to his chest. He buried his face in her hair, enjoying having her in his arms and in his bed. "You okay?" he mumbled, not even really awake.

He felt her nod against his face. "Just needed to be close to someone."

"Kay," he breathed against her head. "Love you," he whispered before falling back into a deep sleep.

Kate froze at his words. He couldn't have meant them, could he? She was tired of over thinking things, so she just let it go, chalking it up to mere exhaustion. She settled back into his chest.

For a few minutes, she just listened to the sound of his breathing. She wanted to see him though. Carefully, as not to wake him, she turned herself in his arms. He tightened his grip on her as she again got herself comfortable. She looked at his face in the dark, trying to memorize all the tiny imperfections. She smiled, and curled herself into his chest. She tucked her head under his chin, her mouth finding the bare skin of his neck and planting a soft kiss there. Her legs tangled with his, her toes tucking themselves into his pant leg.

She honestly didn't know why or how she was so comfortable with him already. But she was. And she had to admit she liked it a lot. Maybe too much. With a smile and a big yawn, she slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**A/N: This one was up a little quicker than the last! Thank you to all of you who gave us your prayers. It makes me realize how truly nice this fandom is.**

**Anyway… Any thoughts? Let me know!**


	18. Chapter 18

"**Girl, you make me feel like whoa. Spinning me outta control with every little move you're making. Driving me wild if you know what I'm saying. Hey, shoot another smile my way. You're making this boy go crazy."**

**-Dylan Scott**

_ She honestly didn't know why or how she was so comfortable with him already. But she was. And she had to admit she liked it a lot. Maybe too much. With a smile and a big yawn, she slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep._

__Castle was drifting through the haze between sleep and awareness when he felt the weight on his arm. Opening his eyes, he looked down at the woman in his arms, smiling when he recognized the brown hair. He barely remembered her coming to him in the middle of the night, and he definitely didn't remember her crawling into bed with him.

Nonetheless, he wasn't upset to find her curled into his chest. He moved the arm that was trapped under her body and quickly found purchase in her hair. He ran his fingers through the knots, receiving a quiet moan from the still-sleeping Kate.

He closed his eyes. If he could do this every morning for the rest of his life, he would be the world's happiest man. He sighed, his arms tightening around Kate's thin waist.

Castle felt Kate move in his arms. Kate opened her eyes to see a bare, muscular chest. "Castle," she said on a sigh. Castle felt his heart stutter in his chest. Kate ran her hands down his chest, coming to rest right above the waistline of his sweats. "Morning," she mumbled into his neck.

"Good morning, beautiful," he responded. "How'd you sleep?"

She mumbled something that sounded like 'good,' then burrowed herself further into his chest. "Don't wanna get up," she murmured. She felt, more than heard his chuckle rumble through his chest.

"You don't have to. But I need to go make sure the girls aren't trashing the place."

"They'll be fine," she countered him.

"I know Alexis will be fine… You're little monster on the other hand… you never know," he teased her gently.

Kate softly swatted him on the chest. "She's not a monster."

"Maybe not a monster. But if she's anything like her mother, she'll be a heartbreaker. And a tease."

Kate grinned into his skin. With every passing second, she was waking up more and more, and becoming fully aware of their positions. She untangled her legs from his, letting him be free to escape. Castle had just gotten out of the bed, and tossed his hoodie back on, when Kate spoke up.

"Wait, c'mere," she ordered.

He leaned back towards her. His arms held his weight above her as he hovered over her body. "Yes?" he asked with a playful smirk.

Kate sat up quickly, dropping a quick, barely there kiss on his smiling mouth. He froze at the contact, his arms visibly weakening at the touch of her lips to his. The smile dropped from his face as he stared at her with a confused look. Kate quickly made her way out from underneath his gaze, stepping into the master bathroom with a teasing glance behind her.

Castle watched her go, his body still frozen in place. When she looked back at him, he felt his face melt into a full-blown smile. "What was that for?" he called to her.

"Just showing you how much of a tease Johanna's mother really could be," she responded.

Castle growled. "Once again, you are going to be the death of me, woman." Kate giggled at his words, moving to turn the shower on. She knew exactly what his reaction would be, and within mere seconds, she heard him groan, and heard his head fall to the bathroom door. "Why do you do this to me?"

"Go make me breakfast, Writer Boy," she told him as she removed her clothing.

"Your wish, my command," he muttered before heading out into the kitchen.

He had just gotten the coffee pot started when he heard two sets of feet patter down the stairs. He turned around to find the girls staring at him with mischievous glints in their eyes. "What are you two little trouble makers up to?"

"Oh, nothing," Alexis commented innocently. Johanna grinned at her side.

"Really? I know nothing. Nothing is a really good friend of mine, and that, that is surely not nothing. That is something."

Johanna tossed a curious glance at Alexis before turning back to Rick. "Well, Dad. We, and when I say we, I mean I, have found a little something that I think you forgot to mention to me."

Castle's mind instantly jumped to worst case scenarios of things she could've found. His mind was racing a mile a minute as he wondered what he possibly could've left out for her to find that would have her acting like this. He was coming up empty, and was incredibly nervous.

Alexis continued on, "So what might these be?" she asked as she pulled out the One Direction tickets and VIP passes that he had bought a few months back. He let out a deep breath, relieved that she had only found the tickets.

With a whine, "Awe you weren't supposed to find those! They were a surprise!" he pouted.

Alexis smiled, "Seriously? They're for me?!"

Castle shot his look a disbelieving look. "No, they are for my other daughter." He rolled his eyes. "Of course, they're for you, Pumpkin. And Johanna. She definitely gets one of them."

The girls let out an ear-piercing scream of exultation. Castle cringed. Alexis and Johanna threw their arms around Castle, holding him tight as they yelled their thanks in his ears.

"Okay, Okay. Here's the deal, though. You two can go, but there needs to be an adult with you. And you can ask one more friend to go."

Johanna looked at him questioningly. "Why can't you and my mom go with us? There's four tickets right?"

Castle nodded. "If your mom wants to go, then we can do that… Now, what would you ladies like for breakfast?"

"Can we have French toast?" Alexis asked. Johanna nodded at her side, her eyes lighting up.

"French toast it is. Leave the tickets here, so you don't lose them. You guys can go play while I get the food ready."

The girls bounded up the stairs, giggling as they went. Castle turned around to get the toast started. He had finished a few pieces when he heard Kate's voice from behind him.

"What'd you do to the girls to have them screaming like that?"

Castle smirked to himself, turning around to answer her question. "They found the…" he turned to find Kate standing in his kitchen in nothing but a towel, her hair soaking wet dripping down her bare skin. "Uhm, the…" he couldn't form a sentence. He was too taken aback by her wardrobe, or lack thereof.

"What's wrong, Ricky?" she teased. "Can't take a little skin?"

"A little skin is fine. That's a lot of skin. And even worse it's a lot of your skin. Go put clothes on before I do something stupid."

She smiled a sexy little smirk, sauntering closer to him until she was barely an inch away from him. "And what might you do to me?" she whispered at his jaw, playing with the strings of his hoodie. Her fingers danced over his chest.

He closed his eyes. "Seriously, Kate. You're not helping."

She stepped away from him, laughing. "Careful, you're burning breakfast." She walked away, her hips swaying more than usual.

Castle leaned back against the counter. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. After a few minutes, his head was a little clearer, and he finished making the forgotten breakfast. He cut up a few pieces of fresh fruit and placed them on the table with the French toast.

"Breakfast is ready!" he called up the stairs.

Johanna and Alexis were at the table in under a minute. Kate followed behind them a few minutes later, dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a batman t-shirt.

Castle eyes couldn't leave her body. She was hot, and she was a comic-book nerd. "Sexy," he murmured as she walked past him.

She giggled, throwing a dazzling a smile over her shoulder.

Together they all sat down at the table. "Mom! Guess what!" Johanna exclaimed.

"What, Baby?"

"Rick got me and Lexi tickets _and_ backstage passes to One Direction!"

Kate snuck a glance at Rick. He grinned at her with a twinkle in his eye. Looking back at her daughter with a smile, she said, "Really? That's great!"

"Yeah! Will you come with us? There's four tickets and we want you and Rick to come with us."

"Sure. It'll be fun!" Kate looked back at Rick, mouthing _thank you_. He shrugged, and mouthed back, _always._

The rest of the meal was filled with meaningless chatter and lots of laughter. Kate realized that it was the first time in a long time that she felt like she and Johanna had a real family to spend time with. She picked up a strawberry from the fruit bowl, and turned to look at Castle. He smiled, his eyes dropping to the strawberry in her hand and back up to her eyes. He opened his mouth, asking for the fruit. Kate placed the strawberry at his lips. His mouth closed over the fruit, and her fingers, sucking gently.

Kate's mouth dropped open; she was speechless. She openly gaped at him as he finished licking the juice from her fingers.

He grinned at her. "Two can play that game, love."

**A/N: This is really fluffy for me. Let me know what you think, or how it can be improved.**

**Also—I've gotten a few PM's asking about the songs at the start… If there's a song you'd like to see, let me know, and I'll try to work it into the story!**

**Thoughts?**


	19. Chapter 19

"**I know your insides are feeling so hollow, and it's a hard pill for you to swallow, yeah. But if I fall for you, I'll never recover. If I fall for you, I'll never be the same."**

**Maroon 5**

_He grinned at her. "Two can play that game, love."_

Together, Kate and Rick cleaned the breakfast table in a comfortable silence. After a while, Kate spoke up.

"Castle. Seriously, thank you for getting the tickets. Jo's been bugging me forever, I just can't afford them. I'll pay you back eventually."

Castle shrugged. "No big deal. Alexis wanted to go anyway. Figured she didn't want to just go with me so I had bought two other tickets. Trust me."

Kate nodded. "Thank you, anyway." She looked away, her eyes glued to the window.

"Always." He shot her a gentle smile. "You wanna talk about it?"

Kate snapped her eyes back to his with a confused look. "Talk about the tickets?"

Castle shook his head. "No. The tickets are a done deal. I meant about what happened with Will."

"Oh," Kate murmured, suddenly feeling her heart pound painfully in her chest. "Uhm. Yeah, actually."

Castle gestured her to follow him to the living room. He plopped down on the couch, grabbing her hand as he hit the cushions. She followed him gracefully into the comforts of the couch. Curling her legs to her chest, Kate wrapped her arms around her knees as she took a deep breath. "I—I don't even know where to start."

"How about what happened once I left. He obviously wasn't happy I was there," Castle said.

Kate shook her head. "I don't think he cared that you were there. He was upset that you hugged me; that you were comforting me and he wasn't."

Castle gave her a questioning look, his head tilting to the side, and his eyebrows raising slightly. "What do you mean? I thought you said he hasn't been himself since the accident, and he wasn't as emotionally invested as he used to be. And that was to be expected…?" he trailed off.

"I thought so, too. But it turns out he remembered me talking about you. And how I had a thing for you in high school." At this, Castle grinned, cockily. "The bad part of that was that I haven't talked about you since before the accident. Not for any reason besides I've just had so much more to worry about."

Castle's expression softened for a moment before it turned angry. "He lied to you?" he asked, furious.

"Seems that way. He remembered everything." A tear slipped down her cheek, but she brushed it away before it made it very far. "Then he told me he'd take Johanna away from me. That if we separated, the court would give him custody. His job is less dangerous, and he's never done anything to hurt her. And he's right. There's no guarantees with my job. I'm out in the field every day. There's always a chance I won't come home, and he's at a mostly desk job with reasonable hours."

Castle placed his hand on her knee, comforting without words. She took a stuttering breath. "I couldn't survive if I didn't have Jo," she admitted, lifting tear-filled eyes to him. "And there's no way I can get a lawyer that would be able to change that." She dropped her head to her knees, hiding her eyes from him as her shoulders shook violently.

Castle sat patiently, debating on whether he should voice his thoughts or not. In the end, he figured it could only be helpful. Hesitantly, he asked, "Kate, I know how you are. You never ask for help, and you definitely don't accept help you can't repay. But I love Johanna like she's my own daughter, and I'm not okay with her living with her father, either. So I'm just going to suggest this…" He took a deep breath. "What if I paid for your lawyer? I mean, I can afford the best in town, and I want what's best for you guys."

Kate was shaking her head before he finished. "I can't ask you to do that, Castle. She's not your responsibility."

"You didn't ask. I offered," he pointed out.

"Castle, no. You can't do that for me."

"I want to, Kate!" She was still shaking her head, tears slowly slipping from her tightly wound control. "What if I let you pay me back? It doesn't have to be soon. Just whenever you get the money. You can pay me back. Please, Kate. Let me do this for you."

Kate was silent for a few minutes. Quietly, she responded. "Only if you let me repay you. You have to promise me you'll let me." He nodded, his eyes bright. "Thank you, again, Castle."

"You don't need to thank me for loving you, Kate," he said in a whisper. He was fully aware of his words, half hoping she'd hear him.

She didn't. She was too busy sobbing into her knees. Castle scooted closer to her, close enough that he could wrap his arms around her shaking shoulders. He knew falling for this woman would change him for the rest of his life. He dropped a soft kiss into her hair.

That contact had Kate falling into his lap. All of her defenses lost, she found herself huddled into his strong embrace, surrounded by nothing but his uniquely- Castle scent.

"I don't know how I lived without you for twenty years, Rick," she mumbled into his chest.

"I'll be here forever, Kate."

**A/N: Few things for this!**

**I know this chapter is super short, but I felt like this was a good place to leave off. I'll try to have another short chapter out soon.**

**The whole One Direction ticket thing actually happened to me… Sort of. My little sister is absolutely obsessed with One Direction and was begging my mom for tickets. But they were expensive so we couldn't get them. Anyway, the day of the concert literally 3 minutes before the concert started, I found 2 tickets on the floor for $30. I'm so proud of myself for that accomplishment, I feel the need to tell you all. Haha, and the sad thing is: It was actually A LOT of fun!**

**I know absolutely nada about how divorce works. So if anyone would be kind enough to fill me in on the procedure, that'd be key. Sometimes the internet lies, and I want to be as accurate as possible. Feel free to DM me or review.**

**I think that's it. Lol. Anyhooo, REVIEW and let me know how this chapter was.**


	20. Chapter 20

"**I'll be your crying shoulder. I'll be loves suicide. I'll be better when I'm older. I'll be the greatest fan of your life."**

**-Goo Goo Dolls**

"_I don't know how I lived without you for twenty years, Rick," she mumbled into his chest. _

_ "I'll be here forever, Kate."_

"Kate, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Castle asked worriedly. Since Kate had filed for divorce a little over a week ago, she'd been sick almost every morning that Castle had seen her.

"I'm fine, Castle. Just nerves," she told him, rather annoyed with him for asking the same question every single day.

Castle knew that wasn't the truth. But he also knew better than to argue with her over it. Especially when she was so worked up over her marriage. He sighed, shaking his head before changing the subject. "So how's the lawyer working out?"

"She's great actually. Said that she's confident about our case. She thinks that it'll be almost impossible for the judge to not allow me custody of Johanna."

Castle nodded. "So we picked the right one for this?"

"Definitely. I don't think we could've done better." Kate paused. "Where is Jo, by the way?"

"Oh," Castle said. "She and Alexis are upstairs. They just hung out up there all night. I didn't really see them very much."

"Thanks for watching her, again. I know you didn't sign up for this, but I'm glad she has someone that can keep her mind off of things."

Castle rolled his eyes, a move he had picked up from her. "Will you ever stop thanking me for stupid things? Taking care of Jo is nothing. She's well-behaved and fun to be around. She's not a burden to me. Plus she and Alexis still get along great."

Kate nodded, holding back the 'thank you' that was threatening to escape her lips.

"You hungry?" Castle asked her.

"Yeah, a little, actually," she admitted, following him into the kitchen. She sat down at one of the stools at the counter, watching him move around the small area with practiced ease.

"Here, we just had pancakes this morning. There's some left if you want them. Coffee?"

"Please."

Castle prepared a cup of coffee to her liking. As he slid it across the counter towards her, she threw her hand up to cover her mouth. The scent of coffee pushed her over the edge as she pushed herself off of her seat and into the bathroom.

Castle stood there, motionless. He knew what this meant. The aversion to food, to coffee. The emotional mess that she has been that she never used to be. She was pregnant. He'd bet his life on it. Cautiously, he followed her path to the bathroom. He knocked lightly on the door.

"Kate?" he called to her from the doorway.

She looked up at him, shock written across every feature of her face. As if this possibility has only just dawned upon her.

"Kate, this might be too personal for you… But have you been with Will since the accident?"

She nodded, still frozen in place. She cleared her throat. "Only once. It was right after he was cleared, but I found anything out. He wasn't the same. I should've known it then and there that something was going on. I should've paid attention, I'm a cop for crying out loud, and –"

"Kate, calm down. Everything's fine," Castle interrupted her rambling.

"Castle, I can't be pregnant with his child. I mean, I love Johanna, and that will never change, but he's not going to be around to help with this one."

"Relax. You don't know for sure, yet."

Kate gave him a look. A look that clearly said 'you're a moron.' "I just can't believe I didn't notice earlier."

"You had a lot of other things to worry about," he pointed out. Castle moved closer to her, reaching a hand out to her. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her to her feet. "Everything will be okay. I promise. I'll run out now, go pick up some tests. Just to make sure." Kate nodded. "I'm guessing you don't want me to pick you up a coffee while I'm out?" he joked.

Kate shot him another look. "No thank you."

Castle grinned at the irritation leaking into her tone. "I'll go now. I'll be back in fifteen minutes tops." He kissed her temple, whispering into her ear, "I'll be here, always."

He pulled away, heading to the door. Kate watched him leave in silence. She was still getting over the idea of being pregnant again. But a large part of her was wishing it was Castle's baby she was carrying. Not her husband's.

She sighed, her hand falling to her still flat stomach. "I'm sorry," she whispered to her belly, fear dripping in her voice.

(…)

Castle hurried to the nearest drug store. Entering the tiny shop, he headed straight for the aisle 5, the aisle carrying pregnancy tests. He scanned the brands, wondering which Kate would prefer. After a few minutes of pondering, he decided on three different brands, all claiming to be accurate. Besides, it was pretty obvious to him that she was definitely pregnant, so it shouldn't matter all that much.

The little old woman at the counter gave Castle a knowing smile as she scanned his items. Handing him the receipt, she grinned again. "Congratulations," she told him.

Castle gave her a polite smile back, not wanting to go into the details of his situation with a total stranger. On the way home, all he could think about was Kate carrying _his _baby. Kate holding _their_ newborn in her arms, the sweat matting her hair, but still making her more beautiful than ever. _Their_ toddler running around the loft, his hazel eyes matching his mother's, but his energy matching his. He wanted it, and wanted it bad. But they weren't even together. Hell, she was still married to another man. He groaned, mentally smacking himself for allowing such thoughts to enter his brain.

He was home before he knew it, stepping into the elevator to bring himself up to his floor, and back to Kate. Walking through the door, he found Kate settled on the couch, focused on the TV in front of her.

"Hey," he greeted her, handing her the plastic shopping bag.

"Thanks," she said, taking the bag into her hands. "I'm just gonna go…" she trailed off pointing to the bathroom.

Castle nodded. "I'll wait here."

Kate headed off in the direction of the bathroom, running her hand through Castle's hair as she passed him. His hair was unbelievably soft. All she wanted to do was run both of her hands through it for oh, let's say, the next few hours.

Taking a deep breath, Kate took the tests. She put them all on the counter, and she sat herself on the closed toilet seat. She was nervous, but she was almost positive she already knew the answer.

After the three minutes of waiting were up, she took all three tests into her hand. They all showed the same answer. Tears welled up into her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Walking back to Castle, she handed him one of the tests.

Castle looked down at the object in his hands. 'Positive,' it read. He stood, already opening his arms for her. She folded herself into his embrace, still refusing to let herself cry.

"You won't do this alone, Kate. I'll be here. I know it's not ideal, but I won't let you go through this by yourself," he told her. He felt her nod into his chest. "I'll be here, always."

**A/N: Sooo… Thoughts?**


	21. Chapter 21

**"So now I come to you with open arms. Nothing to hide, believe what I say. So here I am with open arms. Hoping you'll see what your love means to me, open arms."**

**-Journey**

_Castle looked down at the object in his hands. 'Positive,' it read. He stood, already opening his arms for her. She folded herself into his embrace, still refusing to let herself cry._

_ "You won't do this alone, Kate. I'll be here. I know it's not ideal, but I won't let you go through this by yourself," he told her. He felt her nod into his chest. "I'll be here, always."_

Castle was conflicted. He didn't want to raise another man's child, but for Kate, he'd do almost anything. Not that she had asked. But he knew that when it came down to it, she'd be alone, and she'd need help.

They had moved in with her father a few days after everything had gone down. Kate had told him that she hadn't said anything about being pregnant to her dad. At first, she wasn't sure she wanted to keep the baby. After all it was Will's child; a man who didn't love her. But then she thought about it. For weeks. It was still_ her_ baby. She'd never get rid of her own child, no matter how much pain was involved in the conception. She just couldn't imagine killing her child before he was given the chance to live. She wouldn't do it. But now she was starting to show. Just barely, and no one who wasn't her would ever notice it. But she did.

She had told Johanna. Her daughter had caught on with her morning sickness. Kate had sat her down, telling her that she had her little brother or sister growing in her tummy. Jo was ecstatic. Of course, Kate knew she didn't know the whole story. Like that it was Will's child. She just knew she was getting a brother or sister. And she was okay with that.

The divorce was going well. There were few complications that came up. Most of them had centered over the custody battle, but they came to the agreement that Johanna needed her mother, and Kate was more than capable to provide acceptable conditions for her daughter to live in. It was almost closed up, and Kate couldn't be more relieved.

Knocking on the door with Johanna's hand clasped in hers. The door swung open to reveal Castle in dark jeans and a button up that was hanging open, exposing his bare chest. Kate's eyes were immediately drawn to his skin. She just stared, her mouth hanging open. She barely heard Castle speak to her daughter.

"I think Alexis is in her room, Jo. Run up there and check," he said. Then he looked at Kate, concerned by her absolute silence. When he saw her openly gaping at him, he smirked, a playful glint forming in his eyes. "See something you like, Kate?"

Kate's eyes shot up to his, a deep blush coloring her neck and cheeks. She smiled a little ruefully. "You already knew that," she admitted quietly.

He chuckled. "You coming in for a little? What time did you tell your dad you'd meet him?"

"Noon," she answered him checking her watch. It was only eleven. She stepped into the loft.

"How're you feeling?" Castle asked her, leading her further into the loft. He was returning to his bedroom to finish getting ready. Kate froze at the doorway. Castle turned back when he stopped hearing her footsteps following him. "You know you can come in, right?"

She nodded, then answered his question, "I feel fine. The morning sickness seems to be done. Finally. I'm really tired. I haven't slept much the past few weeks. I'm showing, though." She sat down on the edge of his bed as he shuffled around his room.

"You're showing? Really?" he asked in disbelief. At her nod, he scoffed. "Kate you still look exactly the same as you did a few months ago."

She shrugged. "I notice it though." She was quiet for a few moments before speaking again. "I think it's a boy."

Castle grinned. "Yeah?"

Kate was in mid-yawn, so she nodded. "Yeah. I just keep picturing this little boy with these beautiful blue eyes," she said without thinking.

Castle stopped. Will didn't have blue eyes, did he? "Blue?" he asked her.

Kate blushed, looking at her hands, knowing that she had blown her cover. "Yeah," she said shyly.

Castle crouched down in front of her, and tilted her head to meet her eyes with his hand. "Why blue?" he asked. He thought he knew why. But he wanted to hear her say it.

She took a deep breath, keeping her eyes locked with his. She felt ridiculous telling him this. They weren't even together. But she knew he'd find out eventually, anyway. "Because of you. I know you'd be a better father than Will ever was, and I don't know. Sometimes, I just wish this baby was yours. I –"

She was cut off by his mouth, soft and warm, against hers. He kissed her sweetly, a hand finding its way to her cheek. She responded eagerly, her mouth moving slowly over his. He let his tongue run gently across her lower lip, swallowing the quiet moan she let out. He kissed her again, sweet and passionate, before pulling back to look at her. Her eyes were still closed, her left hand holding his to her cheek, and her right hand settled on her nonexistent belly bump.

He brought his free hand to settle over hers on her stomach. She opened her eyes at the touch. She found those eyes she imagined her son having, and her heart stumbled in her chest. "Castle, what are we doing?" she asked shakily.

"I'm waiting for you, Kate. I know you've gone through a lot recently, but I'm here, waiting in the wings. Whenever you're ready, just say the words, and I'll be there, by your side." She nodded, leaning in to give him another light kiss.

The energy that flowed between them was unbelievable. Castle was left speechless by her touch, his heart beating a mile a minute. Kate was no better. It didn't help that her hormones were messing with her anyway. He only made it worse.

"I need to get going," she told him after a few minutes of them just holding each other in close proximity. Castle stood, pulling her up with him. He dropped on of her hands, but kept the other one firmly grasped in his as he led her to the door. "Jo!" he called. "Mom's leaving."

A half a minute later, there were two sets of feet racing down the stairs. "Bye, Mom!" Johanna said, giving her mother a hug. Kate leaned down to kiss Johanna's head as Johanna pressed a light kiss to Kate's stomach. Kate's heart fluttered a little at the gesture.

"Be good," she ordered. Her daughter nodded, mock saluting her.

"Bye, Kate," Alexis said. "You guys should stay for dinner tonight."

Kate looked at Castle, looking for permission. He shrugged. "Okay, I think we'll do that." She opened her arms for Alexis. The girl came willingly, hugging Kate tight. Kate kissed Alexis' temple gently as she pulled back. "I'll see you guys in a few hours." The girls retreated to the comforts of Alexis' room that Johanna had basically claimed as her own.

"You don't mind us staying for dinner, right?" Kate asked.

Castle smiled, "Of course not. I was going to ask you myself, but she beat me to the punch."

Kate grinned. "Okay. After I talk to my dad, I have to go to work for a little while. I'll try to be back here for six. That sound good?"

"Sounds perfect," he answered sincerely. He came closer to her, fixing the collar of the white blouse she was wearing. "We'll see you soon." He gave her a light kiss, restraining himself from heating it up anymore.

"Bye, Castle," she said as she left the loft. He watched her get onto the elevator. She blew him a kiss as the doors closed on her. She hadn't been this happy in a long time. Her hand settled once again on her stomach. She just wanted it to be his baby.

(…)

Kate walked into the little family restaurant she told her father she'd meet him at. He was sitting alone in a booth in the corner. When he caught sight of her, he stood, a loving smile stretching over his face.

"Hi, Katie," he greeted her with a kiss to her cheek. "Where's my granddaughter?"

"She's with a friend for the day. How're you doing, Dad?"

"I'm good. Been pretty busy lately, so I haven't had time to get into any serious trouble," he joked with her. "How're things going with the divorce?"

"Really well, actually." Kate went on to explain the details of the case. "But, uhm, I have something I need to tell you."

Jim looked at her hopefully. She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant. With Will's baby."

"Katie, I'm sorry. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be getting another grandbaby, but Will? I know how hard this must be for you."

Kate nodded. "I keep wishing it wasn't his baby."

Jim grinned, a little cocky. "And whose baby would you like it to be? Maybe that writer of yours? The one you've been in love with since high school?"

Kate blushed. "Maybe," she admitted grudgingly.

"How's he with all of this?"

Kate let out a deep breath. "He's been great. Too great, maybe. I never expected him to take responsibility for either one of my kids, but he has. And I couldn't thank him enough. There was a time when I didn't want this baby because it wasn't his, but he helped me see that I couldn't get rid of him."

"Sounds like a good guy," Jim thought out loud.

Kate nodded. "He is."

"Does Joey like him?"

"She loves him and his daughter. That's actually who she's staying with today," Kate admitted.

"I figured," he grinned at her. "I'm happy for you, Katie. I'm glad you've found someone who cares so much about you. Don't let him go."

"I don't plan on it," Kate told him. She checked her phone for the time. "I need to get going. I told the captain I'd be in for a half day."

Jim nodded, standing up. "Be careful. Especially now. It's not just your life you're putting in danger now."

"I know," she told him.

"Just making sure." He paused. "It was good to see you, Katie. Maybe someday soon, I'll get to meet the man you are so enamored with?"

Kate smiled. "You will, don't worry. I just need things to settle down first."

"I love you, Katie. See you soon?"

"Love you too, Dad," she said, giving him a hug. "And yeah. We'll definitely see you soon."

**A/N: Thoughts?**

**And to all of you who are having a hissy fit over Kate being pregnant with Will's child—Relax, I have this planned out. It may be a little heart wrenching, but still.**

**Another point. If you're going to be rude when you review, at least sign in with a username. Don't hide behind an anonymous account. That's just cowardly.**

**Thank you all for reading!**


	22. Chapter 22

"**Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven? Would it be the same if I saw you in Heaven? I must be strong, and carry on, cause I know I don't belong, here in Heaven."**

**-Eric Clapton**

"_I love you, Katie. See you soon?"_

_ "Love you too, Dad," she said, giving him a hug. "And yeah. We'll definitely see you soon."_

Kate walked into the bullpen a little after one thirty in the afternoon.

"Sup Beckett," Esposito called as she walked past him. He was standing at the murder board, hanging pictures of a rather attractive brunette woman.

"Hey, Espo. We catch something?" she asked him. The boys knew about the divorce and what had happened. But she hadn't let them know about the baby. She just wasn't ready to tell them. Besides, they were overprotective. They'd probably go beat Will's ass right now if she were to tell them.

He nodded. "Yeah. 37 year old Karly Brinston found murdered in her apartment this morning by her boyfriend. Lanie said time of death was between two and three A.M. Techs are still searching the apartment for prints. Ryan's running financials."

"Did we look at the boyfriend?"

"Said he was out with a few buddies last night. Haven't been able to get ahold of any of them yet."

"So he's still in our sights?" At Esposito's nod, Kate sat back down at her desk, firing up her computer. Tapping her fingers against the wood, she waited for the computer to boot up. She was just about to sign in when her cell phone rang from her back pocket.

Without looking at the ID, she picked up. "Beckett," she said, her cop voice in place.

"Oooh, cop mode. Sexy," she heard from the other side. She smiled in spite of herself.

"You have way too much fun with me being a cop," she pointed out.

He chuckled. "Maybe," Castle agreed. "There are definitely perks of you being a cop."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Like handcuffs. God knows the fun we could have with those," he said, his voice deep and sultry.

She felt the blush rise into her cheeks, so she turned away from the boys to avoid detection. "You need something?" she asked, trying to distract herself. She could hear the smile in his voice when he answered.

"I'm bored."

"Really, Castle? Both of our daughters are there. There has to be something for you to do."

He hummed. "How'd things go with your dad?"

"Good," she told him. "He was excited, but still upset, you know?"

Castle was nodding at her words before he realized that she couldn't see him. "Yeah. Anything good at work?"

"We have a case. Not too much information on it yet though. I might not make it back for six tonight."

"Okay," he said, disappointment lacing his voice. "Text me when you leave. I'll have everything ready."

"Sorry," she told him, feeling awful about not being able to make it.

"Hey, it's your job. I get it. Seriously, Kate, don't worry about it." After a few seconds of silence, he said, "I'll let you go. You need to get to work. Talk to you tonight?" he asked, still sounding nervous.

"Of course. I'll see you," she said before hanging up.

As she put her phone down, Ryan walked towards her with a file in his hand. "We got something good."

(…)

After a few hours of pondering the information they had gathered, Ryan, Esposito, and Kate were going to pick up the boyfriend. It turned out that he had gone out with friends until about one in the morning. He had told them he was going home, and they hadn't seen him since.

"Aaron Gorstel, NYPD, open up!" Esposito yelled. He waited a few moments in silence. When no answer came, he took a few steps back before kicking down the door. The three detectives spread out, searching the small apartment for the man in question. Kate had just walked through a doorway leading to a bedroom when she was tackled from the side. She threw her arms out trying to break her fall, but instead hit her stomach off of the corner of the dresser. Her hands automatically flew to her stomach, clutching the life she was carrying.

She let out a startled gasp as she felt her head connect with the bed post. Her world went black.

(…)

Castle was in his office writing when his phone started buzzing. Assuming it was Kate telling him she was on her way, he answered with a smile, "Hello, Detective. Miss me yet?"

Ryan held his phone away from his ear, giving it a weird look. "Uh, Castle? This is Kevin Ryan, Kate's partner."

Castle immediately lost his humor. "Ryan? Is Kate okay?"

"She was knocked out when we went to pick up a suspect. She was coming around by the time the paramedics arrived though."

Castle's mind jumped to thoughts about the baby. Was he okay? Or had Kate lost him?"

"She's alright, though?" he asked Ryan.

"She seemed okay. A little bruised and busted, but nothing serious. She still needs to get checked out though."

Castle let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you. What hospital?"

Ryan gave him the needed information before hanging up. Castle stood, going to the stairs. "Girls?" he called.

"Yeah?" they replied together.

"Put shoes on, we need to go. Now," he ordered.

In two minutes, both girls were standing at the door ready to go.

"Where are we going, Dad?" Alexis asked.

Castle crouched down to look at Johanna. "Your mother was hurt at work today," he started. Tears instantly welled up in Johanna's eyes. "She'll be okay, but we're going to go see her. Make her feel better, okay?"

Johanna nodded. The three of them walked to the car in silence. As the stepped into the elevator, Alexis grabbed Johanna's hand, holding it tight. "It'll be okay, Jo. I promise."

On the ride over, Johanna finally broke her silence. In a shaky voice, she asked, "Is Mommy hurt like Daddy was? Is she going to forget about me too?"

Castle's heart broke at the little girl's words. "Sweetie, your mom will never forget about you. She loves you too much for that to happen."

"It happened with Daddy," she whispered back.

Castle closed his eyes. He didn't know how to explain this to Johanna. "We'll see her soon, and she'll be perfectly okay."

A few minutes later, the trio was walking through the doors of the hospital. Castle headed towards the reception desk. He smiled at the older lady behind the desk. "I'm looking for Kate Beckett. She's a cop. Was brought in about half an hour ago, maybe?" He figured she would use her maiden name for things concerning her job.

The receptionist looked through the files, while asking. "And your relation to her?"

Castle paused. He didn't really know what they were. "I'm her boyfriend," he stated quickly before he could change his mind.

The woman smiled. "She's in room 118. I think the doctor may still be in there with her."

"Thank you," he said sincerely, grabbing both girls' hands and leading them towards her room.

Opening the door, Castle peered in. "You up for company?" he asked.

"Castle," she smiled. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, letting both girls head in before him. The doctor was standing nearby taking notes. Castle leaned down, kissing Kate's forehead softly. "You had me worried."

"I know. I'm sorry."

He leaned down again to whisper in her ear. "Your daughter is scared you won't remember her."

Kate looked at him in shock. "Johanna, baby, come here." Johanna walked to her mother's side slowly. "I'm okay, really. Just a couple bruises." She lifted her hospital gown to show Johanna the bruise on her stomach. "See? All good."

Johanna smiled, climbing onto the bed to hug her mom. "I love you, Momma."

"Love you too, Baby." A tear slipped out the corner of her eye as she thought about the other life she lost tonight.

Castle noticed. He noticed the placement of the bruise, noticed the way she held her daughter like it was the last time she'd ever see her. He knew then and there she had lost the baby. He hated that he felt relieved. But the relief was quickly covered up by the heartbreak he knew she must be feeling.

She opened her eyes, feeling a gaze on her face. Looking into his eyes, she saw the apology written all over his face. She nodded, letting him know they'd talk about it later. Alexis has wandered over to the side of Kate's bed. Kate opened an arm, inviting Alexis into the embrace. She went willingly, throwing her arms around Kate's neck.

Castle frowned. "Hey! What about me?"

Kate laughed at his pout. "Come here," she demanded.

Putting a knee onto the bed, he placed his hands on either side of her head. He kissed both of the girls' heads, before leaning down to capture Kate's lips in a soft kiss. "I'm glad you're okay," he whispered, his eyes locked with hers.

It was that moment that Kate knew everything would be okay. Despite losing her child to a murderer, she was happy. She knew her precious little angel was in Heaven; a much better place than Kate could ever have given him. She knew Castle would be there. She knew he was willing to dive into a relationship with her. And most importantly, she knew he was there for her kids.

"Me too," she whispered, pulling all of her family a little closer to her. No one even noticed the doctor slipping out of the room. It didn't matter that in theory, she was still married. She just wanted this family. This man, and these two beautiful little girls, and any other little one God chose to add to their family.

**A/N: Thoughts?**

**I don't even really have anything to say about this one. Just hope this doesn't make anyone super mad.**

**Let me know!**


	23. Chapter 23

"**That smile on your face, let's me know that you need me. There's a truth in your eyes, saying you'll never leave me. The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall. You say it best when you say nothing at all."**

**-Allison Krauss**

"_Me too," she whispered, pulling all of her family a little closer to her. No one even noticed the doctor slipping out of the room. It didn't matter that in theory, she was still married. She just wanted this family. This man, and these two beautiful little girls, and any other little one God chose to add to their family._

Kate was released from the hospital the next day with orders to relax and not move around too much. She had called Castle earlier that morning, asking if she and Johanna could stay with him for a few days. Castle didn't even hesitate in agreeing. He was more than eager to have her in his house. And even more excited to get her in his bed…

But that was for another time. She was still recovering from the fall, and the resulting surgery. She needed to lay low for a few days. But soon. Soon he'd get her there.

Castle parked his car in the garage of the hospital. He began walking to the entrance, tucking the car keys in his pocket as he went. After making casual chit chat with the nurse at the reception desk, Castle headed to Kate's room. With a light knock, he walked through the doorway.

"Hey Castle," Kate smiled weakly from the bed. Her hair was in a lose braid, framing her face. Her eyes were red and puffy.

"Morning," he answered, moving towards her bed. He leaned down to kiss her forehead. "How're you feeling?" he murmured.

She shrugged. "Weird. I can't get over the fact that my baby died. I just want to curl up in a ball in my bed, and cry." Tears welled up in her eyes, but she pushed them away. "But I'm kind of relieved at the same time… If that makes sense."

Castle nodded. "I get it."

"Did you tell the girls?"

Castle shook his head. "Neither of them asked. I figured that you'd wanna be the one to tell Johanna at least."

Kate nodded, but remained silent.

"Physically, though. How are you?"

"A little sore. Nothing I can't handle."

"Are you ready to go?" Castle wondered.

"Yeah. I just need to give these to the doctor," she said, lifting the papers that sat in her lap.

"Here," Castle reached for the papers. "You just get your things together. I'll be right back."

Castle disappeared into the hallway for no more than three minutes. Kate had gotten out of bed, gathered the few things she had before he returned. She handed her things to him as he reentered. As she tried to pass him, he put a hand on her shoulder, halting her movements.

"Cast-?"

"I didn't get my proper 'hello,' Detective," he whispered.

A genuine smile slowly spread across her face. "I'm sorry to disappoint, Mr. Castle." She took a step closer to him. Close enough to brush her chest against his. And she raised herself onto her toes, her mouth grazing his chin before finding his mouth.

The kiss was short, but sweet. A 'thank you,' an 'I missed you,' and an 'I want you' all wrapped into one. They broke apart with identical smiles adorning their faces. "Hi, Castle," she murmured onto his lips.

He stole another quick kiss before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the hospital entrance. Leading her to the car, he felt her pull against his hand. "What?" he questioned her.

"You brought your Ferrari to pick me up from the hospital? Are you serious?"

Castle paused before answering. "Yes?" he answered hesitantly.

Kate stalked forward, obviously pissed about something that he did not understand.

"Kate, wait," he called, rushing to catch up with her. "Why is this such a big deal?"

"I'm a cop, Castle. A cop that was hurt on the job, and is technically still married to a man who isn't you. I can't be caught by the paparazzi that follow you around everywhere you go. What if they'd get a picture, then find out that I lost my baby? What do you think would happen? Rumors would fly that you knocked me up. I don't want that, do you?"

Castle just stood there, looking confused. "And this will happen just because I brought my Ferrari?"

Kate huffed at him, storming the rest of the way to the car. She leaned her back against the frame.

"Kate! Stop being mad! First of all, I'm not that big of a deal. The paps don't follow my every move like they do with other celebrities. Second of all, just taking this car isn't gonna stand out. There are a lot of red Ferraris in New York." Castle was standing less than a foot away from her now.

Kate took a deep breath, a little embarrassed about her rant. "I know. I'm sorry, Castle. I'm just tired and sad and frustrated. I needed someone to take it out on." She looked him in the eye. "Forgive me?"

Castle grinned, his eyes lighting up with something indescribable. "Always," he responded before pushing her against the car and claiming her mouth for a brief moment.

(…)

Later that night, the four of them were seated around the kitchen table. The dinner plates had been cleared away. Kate had turned quiet minutes ago, alerting Castle to her inner monologue. He decided to start the conversation for Kate.

"Jo, do you remember how Mommy told you she had a baby in her tummy?" he asked the child.

At her nod, Kate spoke up. "When I got hurt at work, I hit my belly really hard."

"Yeah! You showed me the bruise!" Johanna exclaimed.

"That's right. But the baby got even more hurt. And he died in my tummy yesterday."

Both Johanna's and Alexis' eyes welled up with tears. Castle found Kate's hand under the table.

"My baby brother died?" Johanna asked in dejection.

"I'm sorry, Baby."

Johanna moved to her mother's lap, hugging her tight. "I still love him though, Momma."

At her daughter's words, Kate broke into tears. She felt Castle move closer to her, so she leaned into his side, her head resting on his shoulder. Alexis moved to sit with her father, placing a warm hand on Kate's arm. "I'm sorry, Kate," she whispered. "I love him, too." Castle pressed a kiss to the top of Alexis' head, cuddling her closer to his chest.

(…)

After collecting themselves, they moved to the living room to watch a movie. Castle settled into the corner of the couch, pulling Kate down between his legs. She let out a deep breath, relaxing into his chest. The girls found themselves on the floor, fully entranced in the movie. Pitch Perfect was playing, the characters singing to some song that Kate recognized but couldn't name.

She was tired. Way too tired. She curled further into Castle's chest, feeling his arms wrap around her protectively. She breathed in his scent, smiling into his t shirt. He always smelled so good.

The next thing Kate knew, Castle was moving beneath her, whispering to the girls to head up to bed. Kate cracked an eye open before closing it again. She didn't care where she slept. Besides, she was comfy right now. She felt Castle lift her from the cushions. "Castle, put me down."

"Shh. Go back to sleep," he told her walking through the loft.

"I can walk," she answered sleepily.

"Yeah, and I can carry you, so hush."

Kate grumbled, but remained quiet. She felt Castle lower her onto a bed, then felt him move away from her. "Stay," she mumbled.

"I'll be back. Just gonna make sure the girls are settled in." Kate nodded.

Castle hurried upstairs, opening Alexis' door to see both girls curled together on Alexis' bed. He smiled, "You guys all good?"

"Yeah. Night, Daddy."

"Night, Pumpkin." He kissed her forehead, before leaning over her to do the same to Johanna. "Night, Sweetie."

"Night."

"I love you guys."

He got two muffled "love you, too" responses. He grinned. Looked like he had three sleepy girls tonight. He headed back down stairs to his room. He hadn't wanted to carry Kate up steps to the guest room, so he figured he could sleep there tonight. Let her have his room.

When he stepped into his room, he was taken aback by the sight before him. Kate lay in the middle of his bed, her face buried in the pillow he usually slept with. She looked so gorgeous, it made his heart hurt. "C'mere," he heard her say quietly.

He obeyed, sitting on the edge of the bed. He ran a hand through her hair, gently calming her. "Goodnight, Kate. Sleep tight." He kissed the back of her head before standing up.

"Where're you going?" she mumbled at him.

"Guest room," he answered honestly.

"Stay," she breathed. "Stay with me tonight."

Castle's heart started beating rapidly. "Kate – I don't think that's a good idea. You're tired. You need your sleep."

"I'll sleep better with you here next to me. Please," she begged, still half-asleep.

Castle mentally cursed. He didn't know if he'd be able to handle himself in the same bed as her. All night. He wouldn't be able to fall asleep. The last time, he'd already been basically asleep when he let her in. He didn't have time to think about it, to register what was happening. He groaned, but eventually listened to her. He threw his jeans off into the corner, leaving him standing in his boxers and a t shirt.

Kate dragged an eyelid back enough to sneak a peek at him. She grinned, sleep over taking her face. "You coming?" she asked, reaching her hand out for him to take. He took her hand, climbing into bed next to her, leaving a respectable distance between them.

She ignored it. She pulled herself closer to him, nuzzling her face in his chest. "Night, Rick. Love you," she murmured, already asleep.

"Love you, too, Kate. So much," he whispered into her hair, his arms coming to snuggle her closer.

**A/N: So I'm so super, incredibly sorry for not updating for so long. I was on vacation for a few days, then I had to go to Nationals for softball. When my family got home, my grandfather passed away, so that week had been absolutely crazy. I tried my best to get this up, but I just didn't have the time. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Thoughts? Suggestions? Let me know!**


	24. Chapter 24

"**If you're pretending from the start, like this, with a tight grip, then my kiss can mend your broken heart. I might miss everything you said to me. And I could lend you broken parts that might fit, like this. And I will give you all my heart, so we can start it all over again."**

**-One Direction**

_She ignored it. She pulled herself closer to him, nuzzling her face in his chest. "Night, Rick. Love you," she murmured, already asleep._

_ "Love you, too, Kate. So much," he whispered into her hair, his arms coming to snuggle her closer._

Will was back. And he was trying to get Johanna. Except this time, instead of being civil, talking about it, he had a gun. A shiny, black Glock held tightly in his right hand. In his left, he held their daughter in a chokehold.

"Momma!" Johanna cried, fear in her voice. "Momma, help!"

Kate looked at her ex-husband holding their child hostage. Her heart broke as she realized his intentions. He had been pissed whenever custody was granted to Kate, but she never thought he'd take it to this level.

"It's okay, Jo," Kate said, trying to remain calm. "I'll get you."

Will laughed. "No you won't. See this," he asked, waving the gun, "One shot to the head, she's done."

At his words, Johanna let out a strangled sob. Kate felt tears trickle down her cheeks, but she pushed them back. "I won't let you," she growled, stalking towards him. He matched her steps, moving backwards with each one until he was backed against a wall.

"We would never be in this position if you wouldn't have left me," Will stated threateningly.

"You know why we separated," she told him. "And it wasn't my fault. You abandoned your family to spend time with a random woman who meant next to nothing to you."

"I told you I didn't remember."

"It doesn't matter if you remembered. You still _knew_. And you threw it away."

Will flicked the safety of his gun of, holding it against Johanna's temple. "Say another word and she's dead."

Kate looked into her daughter's terror filled eyes, refusing to admit defeat. "I love you, Momma" Johanna choked out.

Kate saw Will's hand twitch towards the trigger, and she pounced, "NO!" she screamed as a shot rang through the air.

(…)

"KATE!" Castle yelled, louder this time. He grabbed her shoulder, shaking it a little bit. She was sweating and thrashing around in the bed. "Kate, wake up!"

He placed both hands on either side of her face, holding her head in one position. He waited for his touch to calm her down before she opened her eyes. He saw pure horror in the depths of her irises, panic flooding her features.

"You were having a nightmare," he told her, wiping away a stray tear.

"Where's Johanna?" she rasped, her voice thick with the terror she just experienced.

"She and Alexis are asleep upstairs. Do you want to talk about it?"

Kate moved out from under his grasp, hurrying towards the door. She was up the stairs in a flash. She opened the girls' room door in one swift motion, moving to her daughter's side. Kate ran her hands through Johanna's hair, thanking God she was alright. She let the tears run freely now as she peppered kisses along her daughter's face. She didn't know how long she sat there until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She jumped a little, still antsy from the dream. She turned, seeing Rick looking at her with concern written all over his features. She stood, dropping a final kiss to her daughter's head before turning into Castle's embrace. She cried, letting it all flow out.

Not wanting to wake the girls, Castle carefully maneuvered them out of the bedroom and into the hallway. Kate's cries were loudening by the second, and there was nothing he could do, but hold her and let her soak his t shirt.

"It was so real," she sobbed. "I thought I lost her."

Castle tightened his hold on her, burying his face in her hair. "Tell me about it?"

Kate nodded. Taking a deep breath, getting herself back under control. She stepped away from him, taking his hand to lead him back to his bedroom. She crawled back into the bed, motioning him to follow. After they were situated, she began to relay her dream to him.

"I don't know why I thought he'd kill her. He was never like that before," she admitted, looking down at her hands. "I don't know if maybe it was because of the baby. I mean, I already lost a child, and—"

Castle finished her sentence. "And you thought Johanna would be taken away from you, too."

Kate nodded. "I know it's stupid, but I just… I can't."

Castle slid his hand across the sheets to find hers. He laced their fingers together, comforting her with just his touch. "The divorce will be finished today, correct?"

"Yeah, probably around three. Why?"

"I'm taking you out tonight," he told her, his eyes locked on their intertwined hands.

"A little sure of yourself there, Mr. Castle?" she teased. "What if I don't want to go?"

"First off, I know you want to go. I mean, look at me, I'm irresistible. Second, you need a drink or twelve." She narrowed her eyes at him. "And third, I think it's time for our official first date."

"So you plan on getting me drunk on our first date? Romantic, Rick."

He grinned. "Well technically, we've already slept together. So it's not like that'll be anything new."

She reached up, and twisted his ear. "Ow, ow! Apples, apples!" he cried. She smirked, releasing her hold on his ear. He rubbed it, pouting like a child. Okay, she had to admit. He was absolutely adorable when he did that. "What was that for?"

She couldn't resist his pout any longer. She leaned in, bringing her lips to his. She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, biting down gently, before soothing it with her tongue. He groaned, moving his hands to her hair. He rolled over, pinning her to the bed. He straddled her waist, leaning down to continue his exploration of her mouth.

Her hands were under his shirt, running across the smooth planes of his chest and stomach. As her hands moved beneath the waistband of his boxers, he grabbed her hands without breaking the kiss, pinning them above her head. He nipped her bottom lip, teasing her slightly. Then, he broke the kiss only to lean his forehead against hers. "Not tonight," he whispered against her mouth.

"Sorry," she murmured.

"Hey," he said, lifting her chin. "Don't be sorry." He gave her a light kiss. "I want to. I really, really want to. I just want to wait until you're officially not married anymore."

She nodded. "Hey, Rick?"

He looked up, catching her gaze with his own.

"I love you," she smiled, shyly.

He grinned. "I love you, too," he said, kissing her again.

"By the way," she said, moving away from him. "It's not our first date. We went on a date my sophomore year of high school. Remember?"

His face softened. "Yeah. That was before I decided to be a jackass."

"Pretty much," she agreed with a glint in her eye.

He feigned hurt. "You didn't have to agree with me!" he whined.

"Well, why would I lie to you? You were a jackass then."

"I know," his face fell. "I'm still sorry."

She palmed his cheek. "It's okay. That's not who you are anymore. Besides," she smiled, "I like this you _a lot _more than that you."

"Glad we agree on something then," he joked.

She smiled, leaning into his chest. "Can we try to get at least a few more hours of sleep before the girls are up?"

He hummed in agreement. He secretly loved how she referred to Alexis and Johanna as 'the girls.' To him, it seemed as though the girls were both of theirs, not just one. He loved it, and he wouldn't be mad if they were to add to his girls. But this time, she'd be a perfect mix of them.

**A/N: Here we are! I know it's short, but I'm hoping to have the next chapter up later tonight, or early tomorrow morning. Soo let me know what you think.**

**Thoughts? **


	25. Chapter 25

"**Show a little faith, there's magic in the night."**

**-Bruce Springsteen**

_He hummed in agreement. He secretly loved how she referred to Alexis and Johanna as 'the girls.' To him, it seemed as though the girls were both of theirs, not just one. He loved it, and he wouldn't be mad if they were to add to his girls. But this time, she'd be a perfect mix of them._

Castle stood outside the courthouse with a bunch of flowers in his hands. He knew that Kate would have custody of Johanna. It was a no brainer. Plus, he had two of the very best lawyers in New York City on her side.

He paced impatiently along the steps, checking his watch every five minutes. After what seemed like an eternity, he heard the courthouse doors open with a creak. He paused in mid-stride, turning to see Kate walk through the doorway. She spotted him, and slowly a smile erupted across her face.

He grinned in response, rushing to her side. "So?" he asked, hopeful. She nodded.

"Guess we can finally go on that date, huh?" she said with a wink. He leaned down, pressing a light kiss to her cheek.

"For you, my lady," he said with a bow, presenting her the flowers.

"Thank you," she said, blushing under his gaze. "Do you think this is a good idea?"

"Us getting a drink or two? Of course. Show some faith, Kate," he said, feigning hurt.

"Maybe we shouldn't. At least not tonight."

"No. We're going. You need it. Besides, you never know what could happen after a few drinks of something strong."

"Let's go." She took his hand, a new determination set in her eyes, and she lead him to the sidewalk.

An hour later, they were seated in a corner booth at the Old Haunt. "I didn't know you owned this place, Castle."

He shrugged. "It never came up."

She giggled, actually giggled. God, this man messed with her hormones. "So… What do you like to drink?"

"Depends on the day. Sometimes just beer, others whiskey or scotch."

Kate hummed, holding his gaze. "Why? What do you want?" he asked her.

"I thought your plan was to get me drunk?" She lifted an eyebrow.

Castle snickered. "I never planned to get you drunk. I said you needed a drink. There is a difference, love."

"Well, in that case… Get me something fruity," she said, rising from her seat.

"Fruity? Really? Never would have pegged you for that type of woman."

"What can I say, I'm just full of surprises," she teased, walking past him. She ran her hand through his hair as she passed. "I have to use the restroom. I'll be right back."

When she returned, her drink was already there, an umbrella hanging off the side. "Nice touch," she commented before taking a sip. He looked at her expectantly. "It's good."

They found themselves lost in conversation over a few drinks. After her third, she stopped him from asking the waiter for another. "How about shots?" she said with a gleam in her eye.

Castle stopped. "Uh, sure." He looked her up and down. "Two rounds of strongest you have." The waiter nodded, moving back towards the bar. "Think you can handle it?"

Kate gave him a disapproving look. "I can hold my liquor, Castle."

"Whatever you say," he told her with a smile.

(…)

A few hours, and several drinks, later, Kate and Castle were the only two left in the bar. The bartender had closed up shop, nodding to Castle that he was heading out. They had talked about everything. Their respective kids, the divorce, the custody battle, their jobs, their plans, their parents. Everything. But now, they were settled into a comfortable silence. The lights were turned down low, and the chairs were all picked up off the floor and sitting atop the tables. A small radio was playing quietly in the distance.

Their conversation had died down as their bodies were becoming more and more buzzed. Castle stared longingly at Kate, his desire evident in his eyes. The opening strains of "Beneath Your Beautiful" filtered out of the radio speakers. Castle smiled, standing up. He offered his hand to Kate. As she took his hand, he whispered in her ear, "I owe you a dance, Kate."

He led her to an empty space of floor, pulling her into his chest. They spun effortlessly on the floor. They slowed down, Kate leaned her head on his shoulder, her mouth open on his neck. He began singing softly, his mouth against her ear. "You've built your wall that no one could climb it, but I'm gonna try it. Would you let me see beneath your beautiful…" His husky, velvet voice carried through the small restaurant, surrounding her in warmth and love.

As the song drew to an end, Kate pulled away from him enough to look into his eyes. "Take me home, Rick," she whispered, her voice thick with her unwavering love. She pushed up on her toes to meet his mouth with her own. They kissed slowly, each exploring the other's mouth with a new openness between them. No hesitance, no worry, no panic. Just them, their love obvious in the way their mouths moved together. "Please," she mumbled, not breaking the kiss.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her to the door. He hailed a cab, holding the door open as she climbed inside. He followed her in. As soon as he shut the door, Kate was in his lap, latching her mouth to his eagerly. "Kate—" he tried between kisses. She reclaimed his mouth, momentarily making him forget his thoughts. "I don't think the cabbie asked for a show," he whispered into her mouth.

"I don't care," she growled, her eyes darkening with her unchecked lust. Castle laughed, a deep, rumbling thing that shook his entire body. He pulled away from her, nuzzling her neck.

"Soon," he vowed, "I promise."

"Fine," she said, disgruntled, causing another chuckle from him. She slapped his chest lightly. He kissed her temple.

"I love you, Kate."

She hummed, a small smile playing around her lips as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I love you more," she said playfully.

"Don't think that's possible."

"You don't know much, then," she teased.

**A/N: So this is it. Part 2 from earlier today. I'm leaving for vacation in a few hours so I probably won't update for at least a week. I hope this will tie you over until then.**

**Thoughts? Reviews are more than welcome.**


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